1976 – Trip to Dehradun with Dandge

Posted By Author on October 2, 2011


Note in the diary:  I left daily diary writing after I cut-off from Shri Baba because of publication of his handwriting in Nagpur Times. The major incidents in between were accidental death of my elder brother and his wife on March 6th, 1971 at Raipur, Madhya Pradesh.  Before death he warned me through letter that I should not go against the wishes of Netaji and publicize myself.  Netaji (Baba) visited his house on way from Amarkantak.

My eldest brother Ramesh lost three fingers of right hand in car accident. My wife had an accident on scooter and had compound fracture of arm. Mother was serious but fortunately recovered.

After Baba left Melghat (my region) assuming name as Swami Vijnanananda, he went to Champawat near Tanakapur at Nepal border.  Gitamasi was taken to Deoghar and gave birth to Anu (Anmayee).  Ramen and Gobind were attending her.  Shri Baba was called from a place near Ranchi in Orissa.  He came back to Deoghar.  Gita had third conception barring an abortion.  Again Baba went to Jogeshwar near Almora in the Himalayas.  As Gitadi’s health was sinking Baba was called back.  Tanu (Tanmayee) the third daughter was born. Baba was bent upon having a son but destiny played truant. Tanu was a year old and Gita’s health deteriorated. Gita expressed her desire to go to Kashi (Banaras). They all came to Banaras and stayed in Chakraborty’s garden.  No allopathic aid was rendered to Gita.  Probably she sank due to acute anemia, as before when I got her treated. She would have been saved had I been in Deoghar. Gitamasi’s sad demise came on second lunar day after Dipawali of 1973. She was cremated at Mankarnika Ghat and her remains were immersed in the Ganges by a boat. Chakraborty brothers, Gobind, Baba and Dada were present.  After that Baba and Dada with kids went to Dehradun and hired a house at Teg Bahadur road, Dalanwalla.  This was Shri Baba’s first ever stay in a pucca constructed house. After that they got better money sources and better house and shifted to 194, Rajpura Road, Dehradun.

Chinmayee alias Chinu was born on Mahasaptami i.e. seventh lunar day of Durga Pooja on 20 October 1966 on the bank of the Mandakini river at Gangtoli near Okhimath in the Himalaya. I got her address from Krishnakantji Pandey. I wrote a letter to her.  It is noteworthy that children were given mother’s last name.  Gobind told me that Chinu is quintessentially very hot tempered like her father. She would fight with Baba.  I was able to re-establish contact with her recently.  All the three daughters are very intelligent like their father.

Anmayee alias Anu was born after Durga Pooja on the sixth Lunar day before Pitrupaksha Amavasya in 1970 at Deoghar.

Tanmayee alias Tanu was born on the 9th Lunar day before Dipawali in 1972 at Deoghar.  I am oblivious about her whereabouts. It is noteworthy that all four conceptions took place in the month of January, month of birth of Netaji. There is some Shakta ritual behind all this.

I did not go to Deharadun in the summer vacation of 1976.  The Diwali vacation too was over and suddenly one day, on the spur of moment, Chandrashekhar Dandge and I decided to move and call upon Shri Baba. It may be called sixth sense or intuition or ESP. My first visit was like that too.


I went to college and took leave and returned.  I hurriedly packed and went to Dandge.  We went to bus stand and boarded a bus to Nagpur at 2.30 P.M. It was all in hurry.  On entering the bus I found senior professors of my college Mr. Sathe, Nafade, Apte and Pardikar in the bus.  They were going for a bridge tournament at Nagpur.  At Nagpur we got down and went to Railway Station.  Luckily we got the tickets and hurried to the platform. The train had just moved and we entered the running train.  We got berths, dined and slept.


Got up in the train.  We had breakfast and lunch. Reached Delhi at 2.30 P.M. Got Auto Rikshaw and immediately caught bus for Haridwar from Kashmiri gate.  We reached Haridwar at 9.30 P.M. and immediately got taxi for Rishikesh.  So we arrived at Rishikesh at 11 P.M.  It was cold weather.  We engaged a room in a lodge.  Left our luggage and rushed to Budhiballabh Penoliji at Bhajanashram No.3.  It was a long gap and he did not recognize us first.  Then we had discussion.  He told us that ‘Baba was in a very ‘ high plane’ and did not see anyone for days together.

However he promised to go in the morning and call upon Shri Baba to obtain permission for us.  He did not want to disclose the destination but I told him that I knew. He felt greatly relieved. We came back to our hired room and slept.


Due to intense cold temperature got up late.  Took breakfast.  We went to ‘Life Divine Society’.  Saw library.  Then went to Laxman Zula.  We walked a lot.  We took bath in the Ganges below Laxaman Zula.  Then crossed the bridge and went to other bank.  Took lunch at famous ‘Chotiwala’ hotel. The hotel exhibited funny advertisement. A tonsured man was painted and made to stand at the entrance as Chotiwala. The ride by boat was free of charge and hence came by it to city side bank.  Walked to our room.  Shri Budhiballabhji Penoli was waiting for us.  He told that he went in the morning and travelled back from Dehradun.  He told Shri Baba about my arrival.  Shri Baba dictated a note for me and asked for reply by evening.  Budhiballabhji did not return and took a night halt at Dehradun.  Actually the note came next day. We went back to our lodge and called it a day.


We had ‘chota-hazri ‘ in the morning.  Went to Penoliji at Bhajanashram.  He was not back from Dehradun yet.  So we loitered through the town and after crossing a boulder-strewn bank took bath in the Ganges.  We went back to the lodge.  Mr. Penoli was waiting for us. He arrived at the lodge at 9.30 A.M. and we missed him very narrowly. He was instructed by Baba to take my reply, go to Baba at Dehradun and again be back to see us.  After that we might be allowed to go ahead. It was 5 P.M. and he was afraid to allow us to accompany him to Dehradun without Baba’s prior permission.  He showed Baba’s note dictated for me as below:

“Note for Suresh”

1. Can you with all sincerity of purpose realise that your getting published Shri Baba’s dictation and Photostat of Shri Baba’s handwriting without prior permission has been a heinous crime on your part and that by this criminal act of yours you have proved yourself a traitor.

2. With full realisation of the monstrosity of the crime you committed, can you feel genuinely repentant for it?

3. Do you realise, trust once gone cannot return so easily but if there is genuine repentance the way may be kept open to anybody.

4. Cleverness will not help. If bent upon going into the matter none can deceive Baba’s penetrating eyes’

If you can pull up sincere and genuine repentance from the depth of your being, can you take a firm Divine resolve, not become a traitor again but to remain completely and inviolably faithful?

It is only on getting reply to the above from you, that decision will be taken about you one way or the other.

If you are genuinely repentant, are you then ready for the punishment even physical one you may get?”

(How could I be dubbed as a traitor if he was not Subhash Chandra Bose?)

To this note I wrote back the answer that my past mistake of publishing his handwriting was not meant to insult him but under emotional stress against Mr. Khosla I did it in reflex action. I never disclosed his name or whereabouts. I sent a reply that I was prepared for any punishment and insults.

In spite of my reply Penoliji was not prepared to allow us to accompany him to Dehradun.  No bus was available.  After great persuasion I convinced him and decided to move together by a taxi to Dehradun.  I promised him that we would stay in Jain Dharmshala and that if the permission to see Baba was not granted we would proceed to Delhi by train.

We engaged a taxi and reached Dehradun at 7 P.M.  The weather was biting cold and we showed our room to Penoliji at Jain Dharmshala.  There was some marriage party to occupy the premises and hence we got a room for one night only.  I signed the register and went out to purchase a lock.  After locking the room we safely went out and took sumptuous dinner with a peg of Brandy to warm up.  The cold was intense.  We were to spend time in a movie but due to awful cold cancelled it.  We were back to the room that was rent-free.  As we were about to sleep in a warm blanket, there was a knock on the door.  A man came and demanded rent of cot Rs.2. I paid.  Closing the door I sprawled on the bed and another knock came.  This time a man demanded rent of cushion.  Now we were bent to retire when the third knock came.  I was very much upset and irritated.  Angrily I opened the door.  It was a grand surprise.  Shivering Penoliji was standing in the door.  It was 11 P.M. Cold wind was ferociously blowing.  He told that after showing my reply Baba told him to get us to the destination, 194, Rajpura Road, Dehradun.  Penoliji hesitated and sheepishly intimated Baba that we were already staying in a Dharmshala at Dehradun and that he would get us there in the morning.  Shri Baba roared on him in Hindi:

It can be translated as, “Suresh has come here and he is staying in a Dharmshala. Do you think I can sleep? Go and bring him immediately. Inform me about his arrival and then alone I shall retire.”

What affection!  What a love!

We had no alternative but to pack up and proceed by autorickshaw in the dead of night with biting cold and fierce and wild wind tormenting us.  The destination was about six miles away just after the bifurcation of road to Mussoorie.  I paid Rs.15 as fare.  We entered the gate.  It is a big yard.  On the right side is the bungalow of divorced queen, Princess of Patiala, i.e. Rani of Biyawar.  Crossing it to the left is a spacious bungalow, our residence.  Baba stayed beyond in a barrack like outhouse.  We entered the bungalow and Baba was informed about my arrival.  Then he retired.

We were offered milk.  The house is spacious.  I went to the right wing and called upon Ramanidada. Made him Pronams.  Since his eldest daughter Gita’s death and demise of my brother we were meeting first time after a long gap of about six years.  He became very emotional and burst into tears.  I tried to console him.  In trembling voice he said pathetically, “Suresh, I am standing on my own funeral pyre.”  I calmed him down and enquired about his family-Baudi, daughter Dipali, Kolyani and Pilu, son Dipu.  I came to know that all was well.  The son was running a medical store at Falakata, Dipali was married. Kolyani was serving as a teacher and looking after the house.  She did not marry.  Ramanidada then took me to his room.  Three kids were cuddled on the floor.  They were asleep.  I was shocked to find third kid.  I was spellbound and speechless.  He realized it.  He then explained when it happened and how Gita died when Tanu was a year old.  Since then it was a big problem to rear them properly. I realised Gita’s frail health could not sustain the impact of three deliveries leave apart one abortion and consequently succumbed without allopathic treatment.

In a state of shock I returned to my bed.  Shri Vidyaratanji, Purushottamji and Guptaji were all new faces to me in my room.  Vidyaratanji is an old man from Delhi.  He is a versatile personality. He acted in dramas and movies.  He performed magic and palmistry.  He was a revolutionary from Lahore and came to India after the partition.  Purushottamji has a cloth-button store in the city and daily at night he comes with his kid for prowling duty.  Guptaji is employed in the Survey of India, Dehradun. He too comes for night duty.

In discussion I came to know that Uttamchandji Malhotra and Hiralalaji Dixit were to come.  I queried that they were the first to shout publicly in Baba’s name as Netaji.  They were punished.  They were beaten with shoes and their faces were blackened in the Ashram near Falakata.  How were they allowed the audience?  They said that Baba now openly accepts that he is Netaji. Many I.N.A. people were coming to see him regularly.  Uaday Singh Dangi, Netaji’s former bodyguard and Col. Pritam Singh also visited regularly.  About fifty people from I.N.A. came one day and it was a pathetic scene.  They were all weeping and Baba was consoling them.

I thought then that my offence must be condoned.

They said Baba would start the work by January. I said it was good news and we heard such a decision for the last thirteen years.  I told them to hope for the best.  All looked at me as an old guard and a senior member of the Ashram very close to Baba. I went to bed at 1 A.M.

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