Baba is upset, visitors

Posted By Author on June 1, 2010

4/6/1966:
Got up and finished routine. The sanyasi from the bank of the Narmada came again.  His hut is six miles away.  He brought spinach for Baba.  I paid half rupee.  He would rest here today.  Mitranandji and Dhasmana came.  Mitranand gave two hundred rupees yesterday and one hundred today.  Total loan was Rs. three hundred.
After his lunch at 10 A.M. Baba called me.  We sat outside the fence.  I told him that Mitranand gave money.  Maithani M.L.A. was informed about date of appointment.  I retained hundred rupees for return journey.  Baba insisted on keeping hundred and twenty-five rupees.  I told hundred would suffice.  He calculated and finally fixed hundred and ten.

I asked for permission to bring Movie camera.  He granted permission.  I suggested that my friend Chadrashekhar Dandge be granted visit here.  I told his harmless nature.  Baba enquired whether I had his handwriting.  I said no.  There was no time to get his photograph.  He said he would think and tell in the evening.  Probably he would permit.

I asked Baba whether editors for our proposed newspapers should be taken from professionals.  He said that they would be judged from application and experience. (Netaji himself worked as editor of ‘Banglar Katha and Forward.)  I pointed that a Marathi daily ‘Tarun Bharat’ projected high thoughts whereas P.K. Atre’s ‘Maratha’ was fiery and vulgar and the latter was more popular and in demand.  Baba observed that only high thinking was of no use, people should be given story type news.  It should be interesting.  I told about T.G. Deshmukh, minister, versatile bachelor, M.P., Mayor of Nagpur, editor and worked with Biyani.  Baba blurted, “ Who Brijlal Biyani?”   I said yes.  It seemed he knew him very well. (When Netaji was President of Congress Biyani was in C.W.C.)

The topic opened on perseverance.  I commended tenacity of Muslims whether it was playing hockey or learning music.  I pointed that present students were not interested in either games or fine arts.  Why it was so?
Baba put a question, “Achha.  You expand what I say. If a man cannot tolerate monotony he can never be a great man.”  I replied, “In monotony lies patience and without patience there cannot be greatness.”  Baba exclaimed,” You are right, perfectly right. To a man concerned it is not monotony but for others it is so.”  I quoted my example that for many years I used to go to gymnasium in the evening and used to be restless for that. Although it was monotonous afterwards I used to feel fresh.  Baba said that it was true.  Baba then went for rest.  It was 11.30 A.M.

I had lunch and nap.  At 3.30 I went for bath and then busy in meditation up to 6.30 P.M. when Shomu came and told me that after changing clothes we were to go in. At 7.30 P.M. all of us assembled in his courtyard.  Ramanidada told us to pray.  We were all males only.  Dipali and Mashima were busy in Baba’s kitchen.  Baba and Gita were on ‘bedi’ beyond hut.  We could hear his angry dialogue intermittently. We were told to close eyes and meditate.  After sometime I half opened my eyes out of curiosity.  Sukumar and Haribandhu were staring with eyes wide open.  Like me they too were unable to concentrate.  After one hour, i.e., at 8.30 P.M. we saw Baba’s torchlight coming towards us.  Immediately everybody straightened back and closed eyes.  I did not like our hypocrisy. Baba arrived and put torchlight on my face and I faked I was in deep meditation.  He came closer and took my name.  I opened eyes.  He sat on the outer ‘bedi’ and smoked. Then he shifted to chair and called all of us close to him.  Baba then said to me, “ When man loses balance he needs deep meditation.  Remember the act of ‘jattha’ in Punjab.  At such crucial times meditation is essential.  Deep thinking is required.  Keep it in mind.”

Baba narrated an incident. “A violent throng entered market in Delhi and started stabbing Muslim shopkeepers. Nehru came to know about it.  Without escort he told driver to rush there. He alone snatched weapons from the hands of attackers.  That time anyone could have stabbed him. After an hour Lady Mountbatten came to know this.  She immediately arrived there with Viceroy’s special force of bodyguards.  Here Nehru had his greatness.  There is no doubt.”

Baba then told me and Ramanidada that we will perform fast for three days from Monday and that next evening I alone was directed to dine at his kitchen prior to fast.  We retired.

5/6/1966:
I dreamt I was fighting with machine gun in Pak war.  I arrived after bath.  Baba took Dinudada and Ramanidada inside and after some time sent them out.  Haribandhu told that Baba was leaving alone for one year and that his representative from the Himalayas would send money to look after us.

Then Ramanidada came and talked, “Suresh, probably Gita committed some mistake.  He will remain alone and on 9th morning he will leave.”  Gita was sent out and Baba closed the gate of his fencing.    Ramanidada continued, “No man on Earth can bear the suffering as we did.  No money. We fast for days and he still gets angry.  Litigations first.  It is our mistake.  We represent humanity and we cannot improve.  Humanity cannot improve.  Baba is right. He is expert.  We should not try to analyse him when we are not knowing his subject.”  It seemed Ramanidada was completely brainwashed and miserable. Gita was angry and in depressed mood she left for bath. I wrote diary.  It was 9 A.M. Baba did not come out and there was no cooking in both the kitchens.  I got busy in reading ‘Gangotri Darshan’ by Mahavir Sinha Gahalot of Jodhpur who sent the book as present to Baba.  It was interesting.

At 12.30 P.M. an ex-I.N.A. soldier came.  Sukumar was negligent on guard duty.  The man was straightway heading towards Baba’s hut. Haribandhu and I obstructed him.  He was obstinate and declared that even if he was beheaded he would see Baba.  He declared that he served Baba for nine years in Assam and Singapore; I persuaded him that Baba was not Netaji.  He said he walked sixteen miles and he would have darshan.  I requested him to have food and come after one month but he did not budge.  Haribandhu pushed him and then he became sober but said he would curse us.  He crossed the dry bed, washed himself and bowed to Baba’s hut and left.  I felt very sorry for him.

At 2 P.M. Baba came out for two minutes and asked Dinudada about dak. He told that it was Sunday. Baba went in, again at 2.30 he came out engrossed. Moved up and down like a tiger and without a word after five minutes went in to shut in his hut.  The atmosphere was gloomy. Ramanidada and Dinbandhu refused dinner.  I hesitated and took meals knowing not next when I might get food.  I wrote diary and a note was left to be written.  Baba said after narrating greatness of Nehru,   “Suresh. Division of the country was the result of weakness of the Congress leaders and diplomacy of the British.  Jinnah has done nothing for creation of Pakistan.”  Bholu began to bark.  Probably a panther was prowling around.

6/6/1966:
Up late. As per order after bath my and Dinabandhu’s fast began. At 10.30 A.M. Baba called me. I recited a couplet of Tukaram that real yogi digests all mistakes of people. (Yogi pawan manacha, Sahi aparadh janacha.) Baba observed, “Right he is but for correction of humanity show becomes necessity.  One has to punish.” He smiled as he got the import of couplet of Tukaram. Then he instructed me to take buttermilk and juice during fast.  We were waiting for Shomu’s arrival from Okhimath. He brought no dak.  He handed over my letter to S.D.M. at his residence.  The S.D.M. became nervous and expressed his inability to Shomu.  He requested him to send me to see him on 16th or 17th.  I will not be able to go.  Baba said that S.D.M. should have informed us about shortage of stock and hence his inability. Gita was told to go inside.  It seemed Baba’s anger was waning.  Dinudada and me were given juice and butter milk.  We were told to take rest.  At 2 P.M. I was called. Dinudada enquired with Haribandhu about the balance at hand. It was Rs. two hundred and thirty five.  He collected. Gita was upset.  Baba told Dinu to take Gita to Ashram immediately. Shomu was sent to reserve tickets. He left for Guptakashi. Baba went in with Gita.  After half an hour Baba came out and told to cancel tickets. Dinu said fast would break today. After his bath I sat near Baba.

Baba asked me, “ What is modern politics?  One who is well versed in the art of speaking lie is a politician and the best liar is a diplomat.  Communist will have to become dynamic and adjustable or else meet doom.  Religions must also become dynamic and mould with fast development of the world.  This Altaf Hussain, Editor of Dawn of Karachi was formerly in Lucknow. He is a very perverse fellow.  Once he said Akabar had split cult.  So Royjee, the columnist of Amrit Bazaar patrika, said Akabar had ‘r’ at the end and hence he was a ruler but Altaf had ‘f’ at the end and hence he was a fool.  Mao Tse Tung (Zedong) must be criticized.  Under the name of communism they are retaining power at the cost of people.  He said let the people get one meal. Why? Has he ever taken himself?  When there is oppression for individual, one day they are bound to rise.  The best course for leaders in power is to give opportunity for free thinking but they are afraid of losing their power.  It means they are not correct.  If a person is correct and gives free opportunity for free thinking to the people, he alone will remain in power for longer time. I am not Nehru to say that communism or Russians or Chinese cannot be faced.  They must be fought with ideological war.  What the British and the Americans did and are doing when they criticize Russians?  In Second World War they promised help to king Hailey Sellasi of Ethiopia but when Mussolini attacked they did turn their back.  Today seventy five percent staff of the American Embassies is of F.B.I. and C.I.A. They are always after coups and introducing fight among people to sell arms.  What they did to Lummumba and Nkruma?”

I related to Baba that yesterday reluctantly we had to drive out an I.N.A. soldier and we were sorry for that.  At that time we saw Harekrishna and Budhiballabhji approaching. Some guests were waiting.  He gave us juice and told to meet after two hours.  He instructed to inform Budhiballabh accordingly and that instead of tenth June I should leave on fifteenth.

I came out.  Some people of Block Development office of Okhimath and their auditors from Allahabad were there.  They asked me nature of Ashram and I told that it was spiritual work.  One auditor was too wise and vocal.  He queried as to why Baba was underground and why did he not come openly.  I gave him a harsh repartee.  I told we were not in the habit of giving publicity and collecting disciples.  I rebuked him for the use of word underground and asked him whether he thought Baba to be a criminal avoiding arrest.  When Pandavas were in ‘adnyatwas’ i.e. in recluse would he call them underground?  How could he use such  irresponsible words?  The man became nervous and quiet.  I offered tea and they left.

I met Budhiballabh for the first time.  He looked like a Sindhi but was Garhwali.  A sober and silent figure and never got ruffled.  On Baba’s advice he left contractorship and joined part time service.  What Baba told me was true.  He was eighth class pass but spoke fine and fluent English with proper pronunciations.  He brought fruits, vegetables and butter.  Ratan arranged some money at Kanpur and sent it through him. He himself was unable to collect Rs. thirty two hundred.  Rajat made some purchases at Rishikesh. He entrusted it to Budhiballabh and left for Ashram.

Budhiballabh told his story.”  I saw Baba in Kumaon fifteen years ago. After that I am seeing him today for the first time.  Baba then had a grand personality.  He was fair, tall, with moderate bulk and black hair.  He used to wear ‘khadi’ and was living in an ancient Shiva temple in deep forest.  I was working as a guide with an American tourist group.  They took photographs of temple and found most of the idols destroyed.  That was the first time I met him.  I was mesmerized by his talk and English and since then I am serving him.”

Budhiballabh had temperature due to inoculation and so I arranged hot water for bath.  I took juice.  Dinbandhu was worried as he predicted people in Ashram might be hungry without food.  Since Budhiballabh did not bring money he warned that Baba would lose temper.  I wrote Diary. It was 8.30 P.M. After finishing his meal Baba came out and called us at 9.30 P.M. Baba asked Budhiballabhji,  “When did you leave Champawat?  How was priest’s daughter? Where is his daughter Pushpa?”  He had unbelievable memory.  Then Baba asked him about family, children, etc.

Ramanidada finished his meals and then all of us were taken inside. In courtyard we were served wonderful meal.  I came to know that Baba himself prepared food.  He definitely was a class gourmet. I never came across such an epicure. Gita’s mood was better and she was more inquisitive about my palmistry.  After some time Baba went in.  Ramanidada was also interested in palmistry and extended his palm saying that his hand Baba alone knew. I observed his strong fate line.

After meals we returned to the hut.  Budhiballabhji said he had a habit of going to bed at 1 A.M. He continued gossip and though drowsy I had to be patient listener for an hour.

7/6/1966:
I got up at 2 A.M. Dinbandhu said Baba wanted Haribandhu. I came out. Baba was standing near our hut.  He said to me, “I gave good beating to Bholu.  He was barking at me.”  Bholu was lying silent.  Baba bent and fondled Bholu.  He washed hands and all of us carried Bholu and Kolu to his courtyard.  Baba brought jaggery and piece by piece put in Bholu’s plate.  The dog began to snatch from his hand. Baba said, “This snatching tendency must be eradicated.”   He said Bholu was Royal and Kolu was useless.  Both dogs became so bellyful that they did not touch anymore pieces.  Then he fondled both the dogs and put his hands in bucketful water for ten minutes, rubbed couple of lemons and again washed hands and feet and sat on Bedi.  It was 3 A.M. He came to know about Budhiballabh’s inability to bring money.  Baba said, “Suresh, Ratan has Bania mind.  I told him not to bring butter, fruits etc.  If he had no money, why did he go to Kanpur and collected money?”
Everybody was worried about money.  He told that he was leaving and no one should follow him.  At 4 A.M. he left towards Kund chatti.  Shomu watched him from below and around Vidyapith he disappeared.  I snatched a nap and after bath and breakfast I wrote diary.  Dinbandhu left to search him.  Ramanidada chatted.  Budhiballabh was asleep.  Shomu left for post-office at Okhimath.  It was 9.30 A.M., Gita, Kolyani, Dipali, Sukumar flocked around me.  We had fine gossip and they seemed without tension.  At midday Ramanidada and Dinbandhu returned from Vidyapith with no trace.  Haribandhu left with bedding but when Dinu met him at Kund chatti he did disclose his intention.  Before leaving he told me that he would bring hindrance in Baba’s seven years work.  He was angry and annoyed to know that his nieces and nephews had no food to eat at Ashram.  About forty letters Ratan brought from his home.

I took lunch with Budhiballabhji.  Dinu and Gaurkishor left towards Kedarnath to search Haribandhu.  I wanted to go to the confluence but Ramanidada restricted.  All were worried but none knew in which direction Baba had gone.  Budhiballabh told even fifteen years before Baba used to do fasting and get angry.  I took nap up to 3 P.M. Shomu and Budhiballabh left for Guptakashi to reserve his ticket.
Ramanidada came to me to open his heart. He said, “I do not like to speak much now. I was also inquisitive and used to ask many questions to Baba.  These mental worries have spoiled me.  I cannot concentrate.  I am not confident of the next meal.  All property sold, all ornaments sold.  All of us were quite rich.  Sometimes Baba would insist ‘money just now’ and things were sold at half or less price.  Prema had property worth two lakhs but all gone.  If nobody attends to Baba’s clapping, he becomes furious.  No outsider can serve Baba.  I was temperamental and very fashionable.  I had good food, clothing and high living.  Now you see me what I am.”  He was dejected, frustrated and lost everything including family.  He could hardly open his heart to anyone.  I felt very sorry for him.

Mitranandji came and it was decided that he would show torch at 10 P.M. from top and together we would go towards Agastimuni in Baba’s search. He left.

On the top of mountain I saw a torch and from its slow movement I surmised that it was Baba’s.  Dada said he was Shomu coming.  After sometime I climbed up.  Baba was there.  He was utterly exhausted.  I lifted his kit.  Slowly we descended.  At the foot of hill we sat for rest. Ramanidada, Gita, Dipali all rushed to us.  From top of cliff Gaurkishor and Dinbandhu showed torch.  I signalled them to come back.  We entered the camp.  Baba rubbed his boots to remove foreign soil.  He entered the fence and sat on bedi and washed his face in a bucket.  He drank three glasses of water with rocksalt and stretched himself.  Smoked.  He made me sit near him and Gita was fanning him.  I asked him to take meal.  He asked what was the time.  I knew he would not take if it were late.  So I gave half hour less and said 8 P.M. Cooking started in his kitchen.
Kolu and Bholu were brought.  He gave them jaggery.  His torch would not start.  He tried and said, “Eveready were giving standard goods formerly.  Now all want outer show inside ‘Hari Hari’.”  He left for nature’s call.  There was no torch.  He asked for one and was hurrying like a child.
I signaled Mitranand by torch.  All O.K.

We sat in his courtyard.  Haribandhu and Shomu joined.  I saw an insect flying around candle and asked Baba whether there were simile in Bengali on it like ‘shama and parwana’ (flame and moth).   He said, “Yes. But with simile Kalidas is superb.  Sometimes he is vulgar too.  It becomes difficult to read loudly amongst two friends.”  Then Baba recited verses from ‘Kumarsambhav and Raghuvansha’ for ten minutes each.  I was aghast to see his memorization. He observed that clouds were given simile of elephants and their fight in Meghdoot as ‘Ashadhasya prathamdiwaswe meghmashlishtasanum vaprakridaparinitagaj prekshniya dadarsha’ It was best piece of his minute observation.  His sound became normal as if all exhaustion and worries vanished.  Then he enquired about Budhiballabhji.  He told Ramanidada that sometimes he might disappear for two or three days.  No one should take trouble of searching him.  He then left for dinner.  After his meals he talked with Budhiballabh for a couple of minutes and left for rest.
Haribandhu was not in good mood.  I dined and slept at twelve midnight.

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