Back to Ashram..Chinu’s birth

Posted By Author on September 1, 2010

Evening reached the camp and had cold-water bath.  Shomu was happy to see me.  Salilbabu, an accountant in steel firm, Gobind Shah and Ramen Roy, all from Calcutta were there since eight days.  Chamoli of Vidyapith met.  Then Ratan came and told that he wanted to give happy message in Hindi from Baba.  It meant that the Divine had taken birth.  I was bewildered. I could not understand and thought some Light descended. The dictated message of Baba in Hindi is mentioned under the date 6th Nov.66 as it was copied down on that date.

I appeared before Baba.  He enquired about welfare of my parents and then took me inside his hut.  Gita came and a child was in her lap.  I was told the birth was on seventh lunar day, i.e. 20th October 1966.  Three days before Dasserah or ‘Pooja’ festival.  She was named Chinmayee and short name was Chinu.  When I saw everything it was the first greatest thundering shock in my life.  For two minutes I was pole-axed and was staring vacantly.  Mind became numb.  Gita was eldest daughter of secretary Shaulmari Ashram.  She was a nineteen year old virgin. When the Ashram was established she was a school going kid. I was a fool not to realise that since April till June she was pregnant. Who is father of the child?  I knew none but Baba.  We came out and sat. Baba’s face was drawn.  I checked my shock and diverted by relating difficulty of acquiring money.  He asked as to why Chandrashekhar Dandge did not come.  Then all joined us.  To please me he told to read out news published on Parliamentary privileges.  It was cold weather and fire was burning nearby.  I knew not what I read but a hurricane was tormenting the brain.  I told Baba I was to go after Diwali but I might leave early.  He agreed. I dined.  Cold was unbearable.  Mind was not working. I realized why we left Ashram for the Himalayas.  I steadied and reasoned about great characters like Kunti, Virgin Mary, and Vishwamitra.  Because of sex act value of person did not diminish.  Baba’s political achievement in the past was great.  He was born for politics and not Divine work.  Imitation did not work.  One thing was certain that in his twenty years’ Divine work he could not control anger, smoking and sex. After all he was born Khshatriya. I am afraid that he might take samadhi or vanish.  His planning and dodging was systematic.  Gita was three months pregnant and hence we left the Ashram. It meant she got conceived in the month of January that was always crucial month of major events in the life of Subhash Chandra Bose. Before delivery all were sent back methodically under some or the other pretext.  Only Baba, Gita, Ramanidada, Rajat, Shomu and Dipali were present at the time of Chinu’s birth at the camp.  After birth rest were informed and letter of intimation was sent to the Ashram.  God knows its future repercussions.

He could easily have aborted Gita or made some one else a scapegoat.  Nevertheless he bravely shouldered the responsibility of fatherhood and let his aspirations, career, power, riches go to dogs. That was his greatest greatness indeed. The destiny chased its cruel dance with him. However he never acted pusillanimously.

I had discussion with Ramanidada.  He said we would talk.  He was worried and yet he was optimistic.  Seemed he was completely brainwashed. Miserable.  We talked for a while and I tried to sleep.  The vortex in grey matter was difficult to stop.

Comment: It will be pertinent to see view of Subhash Chandra Bose on Sex’:

“I am amazed to see how so many desires and motives influence man in his life. So many desires come from where one does not know. Man acts by instinct and sentiments like animals rather than by reason. I cannot find the cause and meaning for so many of our actions. How strange!”

Ramkrishna Deo preached that Gold and sex were main obstacles in pursuit of the spiritual life. Vivekananda shunned both. Ideal of Subhash was Ramkrishna and Vivekananda. As young boy his group would live on the bank of Hoogli like monks in saffron dress and vowed celibacy.

“I wanted to conquer and sublimate sex urge.”

“Sex-consciousness began to overtake me at puberty.”

“But though I was at grip with the demon of sex-instinct, I was still far from getting it under control. In actual practice the difficulty was that the more I concentrated on suppression or sublimation of the sex-instinct, the stronger it seemed to become.” “ Though the spirit was willing the flesh was weak.”

“Sex consciousness is natural at that age but I considered it unnatural and immoral and which I was struggling to suppress or transcend.” “ My agony could have been terminated or at least mitigated, if I had given in at the outlet as so many have done. But man is not always the architect of his fate, he is sometimes the creature of his circumstances.”

“If I could live my life over again, I shall not in all probability give sex the exaggerated importance which I did in my boyhood and youth. I erred in over emphasizing the importance of sex-control.”

“The dreams most difficult to get rid of are those about sex. This is because sex is one of the most powerful instincts in man and because there is a periodicity in sex-urge. The sex-instinct can be conquered or sublimated only gradually.  To transcend sex altogether he observes,” But is it possible or it is only midsummer madness?” “ Sex-instinct was natural to human mind.” He further remarked,” So in order to attain God there is no need of annulling the world of the senses.”

As Prof. Gordon mentions, ‘Subhash was tormented by sexual desires and a powerful voice within commanded him to control and destroy these impulses. From about the age of fourteen, Subhash was troubled by strong sexual desires and concerned to suppress them. In Western terms, we might say that this was his defense against powerful sexual drives, which were with him even in the male community of his Burmese prison. Subhash does not appear unconcerned with sexual desire not above it; indeed, it appears he was often in danger of succumbing.’

However, in nutshell, in my personal opinion Subhash wanted to conquer nature but ultimately omnipotent nature vanquished him like Rishi Vishwamitra. See Indian Pilgrim Pp 48-52 for Netaji’s confession about his unbridled powerful sex drives and efforts to sublimate it.

Subhash Chandra lamented, “How often, I wondered, my carefully laid plans going to be shattered by the superior force of circumstances.” His last plan to emerge as saint and divine politics was shattered too. He admitted ‘Vivekananda’s ideal was my ideal.’ After coming to India in 1947 he walked afoot the country three times like his ideal Vivekananda, Adya Shankaracharya, Aurobindo, and Ramatirtha. In his words, “Those who have given up the world and consecrated their whole life to spiritual effort sometimes adopt the life of a Paribrajak (traveler) or undertake an all India pilgrimage.” He followed the precepts of Upanishads as: ”The Upanishads having taught thousands of years ago that through abandonment of worldly-desires alone can immortal life be attained.”

3/ 11/1966:
I expressed my views before Calcutta people that Baba’s service must be utilized for upliftment of politics. Shomu and I went for bath.  He wept.  He was first class student.  He lost five years in Ashram.  He was worried about his future.  He felt like leaving Ashram.  I encouraged him and consoled him.

I had a talk with advocate Ramen Roy. He was very near to Bose family.  He was seeing Baba for the first time. We talked with reason and logic that in spite of sex mishap he could be of great value to the nation. The birth of child might be result of ‘Shakti Sadhana’ in which virgin is made a medium. I do not know much about it. Is not ignorance bliss? It could be explosion of suppressed sex or may be desire to have son to run his legacy. (Netaji in his letter to Saratda expressed his desire that his wife and daughter will finish his remaining work.)

Baba and I moved around the island.  He showed new plants and vegetable garden.  We both felt better.  He took me in his yard and told me to do weeding.  Others were watering plants since morning.  Then along with Baba I worked in garden.  He worked with plants like an expert surgeon.  Mitranand came.  He explained him the work and cautioned that same work need not be repeated.  He should be careful.

While working with plants I initiated talk.  He said,  “We have to start work in the third week of January.  All must come.  We have to do university work.  Niharendu Dutt and Radhakant might reach here by tomorrow.”
After lunch again we talked.  He said, “If the Government creates obstacles in January, I will have to enter politics early. The whole nation will be stirred. The Government is servant of public not master. Similarly, if the Parliamentary privilege takes action either on Shomu or Radhakant I shall have to enter politics.”

Baba took me inside and showed Chinu’s tiny palm. She was in Gita’s lap. After examination of the tiny palm I said brain, heart, life and fate lines were very strong. Happily he explained it to Gita and others.  Gita was happy.  Ramanidada took his granddaughter in his lap and was looking after her.  I put as per custom ten-rupee note in Chinu’s fist. Baba said, “She will be reddish in color. Don’t you know Subhash was called ‘Rangakakababu” because of his rich copper color?” Then when alone Baba confidentially told me that next would be son but he had not definitely decided yet. Brazen faced I dared and questioned,  “ Baba, will children come in way of starting work?” He spontaneously blurted, “ No. Not at all.” However I felt he opened Pandora’s box. Destiny played a cruel dance throughout his life. Fate never favoured him, and luck always deluded.

Sweets were to be prepared. Salil and I churned one-kilo coconut.  Got exhausted.  Baba joined.  He was frying flour.  He worked like an expert sweet maker.  Everything was ready. I was packing and he was frying sweets.  Both of us completed the work and then others came.  Guests from Vidyapith were asked to stay for lunch.  While preparing ‘pithapulis’ Baba said, “Half foreign exchange will be converted and half will be kept for purchase of machinery such as   Rotaprint, press, generator, etc. They are essential.  We will bring amendment in the Parliament for sanction and purchase of land. If Government does not agree they will invite self-destruction. Some of us will have to go abroad for purchases.  After one and half year we go on world tour.”

“Regarding possible action on infiltrators in Assam, fourteen Muslim M.L.A.s have threatened to resign and no action was taken on them.  Stalin committed atrocities but he was loyal to the nation.  Which democracy is successful in the world?  The Americans are perverse but the British are balanced.  It is said that Johnson stressed Vietnam War.  Total fault is not his.  The North Vietnamese have become puppets.  Why do they not come for table talk?  The Chinese are playing game.  This three party conference of Tito, Mrs. Gandhi and Nasser is a mere show.  Suresh, today my mood is back to normal..  I think you will have to resign by January.  We will develop good politicians within three years.  I shall give time of Chinu’s birth and you get her horoscope prepared from your father.”

We talked a lot on many topics. I felt that he had regained confidence.  I had to watch and wait as to what would happen eventually.

Before lunch Baba called all of us and for a while we chatted then he told to serve meals to about ten people of Vidyapith who had already come.  He told me to look after them well. I came out.  Again I was called.  Baba was in hot temper because Ratan and Rajat cooked not enough vegetables.  He was off on them and sent all his cooked food outside.  He did not take food and so others too. Baba told me in rage,” They are irresponsible.  It is not their work and hence it is mine they feel.”  There was only wrath, resentment and indignation.  I tried to convince him.  I told him guests increased in time and raw vegetables were in shortage.  He calmed down but insisted that it was their mistake.  Then he went in and brought potatoes from his kitchen and closed himself. (It was Netaji’s habit to detain visitors for meals in time and often create embarrassment for Bivabatibhabi. He used to cook spicy specialties or sweets in her kitchen. Netaji as well as Babaji’s hospitality was ineffable.)

Ramanidada chatted with me.  With dismay he said, “Suresh, this is continuously going on.  I have become stone.  I cannot oscillate.  I am the most helpless man perhaps in the world. Look, food is ready but it cannot be touched.  That is the case.  My mental worries are intense.”  I tried to console him and he sighed, “You know all.”

I served all and finished my lunch.  Then Ramsingh Pradhan of Okhimath and Ramenbabu got busy in inhaling ‘ganja’ (an intoxicant vegetative stuff called marijuana).

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