Daily dicussions

Posted By Author on March 26, 2010

KRISHNAKANT ARRIVES

I came out and to my surprise Gita and all others indulged in gale and giggle heartily.  I came to know that Krishnakantji arrived just then.  I met him.  He requested, “I do not know what will be my condition.  You save me.  If son commits mistake where he would go except to his father.”  He went to Baba.  They talked for a long time.  After his dinner both of them continued discussion.  Krishnakantji’s daughter’s marriage was fixed on 29th May and he came to seek Baba’s blessings and Baba told him as per Mother’s wishes it would be well.  I was sent for dinner.  It was raining and chilly, drops were trickling from roof and drenching me.

13/5/1966:
I got up at 3.30 A.M. Meditation.  Wrote telegram.  By first gate Krishnakantji, Gopal and Tandon left. I handed over telegram to Shomu and twice reminded him to go early to Okhimath.  I also reminded Rajatbabu to go and fetch saris from market of Okhimath.  I reminded both of them twice and requested them not to delay.  Both promised, and I left for bath.  After an hour I returned and asked Sukumar whether both had gone.  At that time I heard Baba’s roaring sound.  I rushed there.  Like a tiger in a cage he was walking fast up and down in front of Ramanidada’s hut. His eyes were bloodshot with rage and pupils were making fast movements.  He donated two three slaps to Rajat and Shomu and moved to and fro again.  His wrath was uncontrollable.  Again he slapped both of them.  I came to know that Shomu lost thirty-five rupees yesterday. Therefore in spite of my reminders he did not go to Okhimath. He was panicky due to loss of money.  Even in that thunder I ventured to interrupt and told Baba that poor Shomu lost money and out of fear he did not disclose or went to Post Office.  Baba said there was no relation between losing money and disobedience and again Shomu received bonus of a slap.  Baba insisted that he would leave for Kedarnath.  He ordered me to call Ramanidada.  He gave alternative to Dinbandhu and rest that either they would leave for Ashram or he would leave the place.  Only Shubir and myself would stay, he said.  Others began preparation to leave.  He assembled all and one who was ready to obey his orders would stay.  He asked one by one to everyone and if not agreed would return.  Both Rajat and Shomu began to weep and persuaded him to forgive.

Baba turned towards me and said, “ Remember Suresh, nobody can pull on with me without keeping time schedule.”  He got up, went to his kitchen and brought his cooked food, gave it to Ramanidada, and warned that henceforth he would cook his own food.  He told Gita and Ramanidada that they should cook their food separately.  Again he came out and sat near me and told,” If one cannot manage external work, he can never do internal work.”  I was silent for a pretty long time.  I came to senses when Baba said to me, “What are you thinking Suresh?” I said I did not understand what he said.  The long tradition from ancient time performed external work when in ‘Grihasthashram’ (family life) and internal work in ‘Vanaprasthashram’ (renunciation). I opined that one must complete external duties and then turn to internal work. I opined that if both were intermingled none would succeed. Baba said, “ While performing external work in Grihasthashram they used to gain prerequisites of honesty and integrity for coming inner work, which is not done today, and hence they must go hand in hand.  Moreover, if it is a question of an individual he can retire from society but when one has to do collective work he will not be able to retire. I committed great blunder and lost eighteen years trying collective method when all Yogis resisted me. ” I argued that if humanity was not prepared to learn, it should be taught by punishment.  He said by punishment all could not learn and told an example, “Once elder Barindranath, brother of Rabindranath Tagore went to school and saw a teacher beating a student.  He told the teacher that by beating he would not be able to turn an ass into a horse but there was every possibility that the horse would turn into ass.”  I further argued that if it seemed that punishment would not improve a person, it would be wiser to choose fresh candidate.  At least ten percent people would be found eager to learn.  Baba mischievously smiled and said to me, “You are right but what can be done now when I took the collective course? I shall have to remain in the Himalayas for two years to regain my health and then start new work and new method.  I am not definite, let these twenty days pass over.”  I said to him that the strength that he gained in eighteen years could be easily utilized for handful persons to train properly.  It would not go waste.  Baba again laughed and remarked, “Let us see.”

Baba again returned to his bout of anger and asked Rajat, “Had it been your personal work, you would have watched the time thrice but to see the work of all is my business alone.  If you were a salaried person you would have worked in time out of selfish motive. You would do the work in time.  Suresh is it not true?  These people must be bestowed with responsibility to look after themselves.  They become negligent in collective work.  What is that proverb (scratched his head) yes, “Everybody’s work is nobody’s work’. ‘Too many hands spoil the broth.’ ” He would then speak with me in different mood.  I advocated condonation of Rajat and Shomu.  They too persuaded him.  He would vent anger and after some time he came out.  I appealed to him that since Shomu lost money he was in lunatic stage and hence his offence be condoned.  He retorted that Rajat should have kept some wisdom.  I explained that I already reminded Rajat to leave by then and be back by 10 A.M. Baba asked him as to why he told him that Suresh did not tell anything.  Rajat then confessed in my presence.  Baba was convinced and then ordered that both Shomu and Rajat should hold their ears, face the south and stand for half an hour as punishment for repentance.  Both of them readily and happily agreed to the proposal.  Baba went inside. It was 10 A.M. and both were standing holding their ears.  At that time five women of Okhimath came for Baba’s darshan.  They were bewildered, observing Shomu and Rajat holding ears.  I could not control laughing and I rushed on them and drove them beyond the dry bifurcation of the river.  Ladies were staring at them out of curiosity and when I used to rush they would run away.  The game of hide and seek went on and Kolyani could not resist her laughter.  Then Baba came out and called all of us.  He reiterated the old record that he lost seven years in Ashram.  He then permitted us to go for lunch. Rajat was crestfallen and was in nervous mood.  I made him swallow his lunch. I got up from nap at 2.30 P.M. as Baba called me.  With notebook I rushed.  He gave the following note:
“In case of one serious difficulty even if you are perfectly keen to see that everything is done in the right way in the right time, physically it is impossible to do everything by himself.  Naturally, you have to depend on others for an instruction being carried out properly even when there is some fantastic way for co-operation due to lack of necessary help both in relation to heart and intellect, they will fail to co-operate.  You may intellectually and emotionally too realize.  You are not a perfect man and with these natural imperfection striving to march ahead their imperfection will be added to multiply your difficulties one after another.  As such you are directed to devote your whole time to inner diving and deep retrospection and introspection accompanied by necessary dhyan, japa and the like.  Let the charge of money matter be given to Haribhandhu so that you will remain free.”

Then Baba directed me to mediate four times a day-early morning, after bath, three hours after lunch and in the evening.  He cautioned not to miss passing of day into night and vice versa, i.e., dawn and dusk.  I queried whether I could perform dhyan in shavasan (corpse position) and he opined that there was no harm but I would fall asleep.  The probability was more.  Then I asked him as to what was the difference between sleep and sound sleep.  He explained that sleep was temporary rest of thinking and working power.  In fact, man dreamed all the while but he could not remember it later on. Sleep and Shushuptawastha are different.  There is not much difference in sound sleep and Shushuptawastha.   Similarly there was a little difference in Shushuptawastha and samadhi, he pointed.  But to fill up that little gap man was required to take birth after rebirth. Up to age of two months in fact child remains in shushuptawastha.  He said one hour’s sleep before twelve in night was equal to two hours afterwards and hence to go to bed early was better.  He described three types of dreams (1) Freudian  (2) pre, sub or unconscious (3) intuitional – forgot, not sure. (Netaji used to discuss dream analysis and experimental psychology with Kitty Kurti of Vienna. She was homely with Freud and Jung.) He observed that Joseph, son of Jacob the Israel is the oldest dream analyzer who interpreted dreams of Pharaoh and thereby reached to great height in his kingdom in Egypt.
The first type was worst and observed that Freud might have committed lot of mistakes but anyhow in dream analysis he stumbled unknowingly near the vital truth.  There was no doubt about it.  I asked him about my colored dreams. He explained. “ It is a good sign and not bad sign.  Fighting with Lion, Tiger and cobra flying in the air are also good dreams.  They show ambitious man.”  I told him it was usual for me to see flying in dreams.  Baba then criticized, “Rabindranath Tagore composed a derisive poem in Bengali on dream analysis. (He recited.)  Rabindranath has committed utter folly in composing this poem.  When he knew not the field of psychology, he had no right to criticize it.”  From dream topic turned to gambling lottery numbers (matka).  He narrated his funny experience.  He was walking through a small place in district Thana of Maharashtra.  One man came running and urged him to come to his home.  Baba was surprised.  Since he did not take meals the whole day, he agreed.  After reaching his place Baba came to know that the host was an allopathic doctor.  Baba told him to get a packet of Capstan cigarettes.  The host was happy to note that the sadhu was multipurpose.  He, in confidential tone, asked a number to Baba. Baba was blank about this affair.  When he came to know the purpose, Baba rebuked him and left his house without food.  Baba then told another story.  He said, “There is a Yogi, nay, Sadhu in Terai region of the Himalayas.  He is educated.  He earns five to seven lakh rupees annually.  He tells number to people.  He confessed to me that people create trouble and hence he fakes dhyan and tells any number and many times it turns to be correct.”

HUMOUR

We turned to light topic of humor.  I told him a story of ‘sardarji’.  He enjoyed and laughed then became serious and warned not to cut such a joke, which might hurt feeling of a community.  He cited a joke, “ A minister was traveling by car. It knocked stone in the middle of road.  The minister remonstrated the driver as to why he did not blow the horn.”  Another joke he told, “ A car of a minister got    stuck-up as petrol was exhausted.  The honorable minister ordered the driver to take the car to a petrol pump.”  All of us enjoyed the session; each was cutting a joke or two.  Then Baba told a joke of Defence Minister Baldeosingh. “He was called for tea by Lady Mountbatten.  When the tray came she was personally preparing tea and poured a little milk in his cup.  He wanted more and hence requested her ‘Pleas milk me’.” (Another version I knew was that she asked him ‘May I sugar you?’ and he asked her ‘May I milk you?’)

We switched over to serious topic.  He observed that the then policies of the Government were foolish.  I said a goldsmith lamented that if honest business were done he would be jailed and if dishonest transaction done even then jail awaited him. He asked how to do business in this regime of the Government.  Sale of pure gold was banned.  Sale of only fourteen carats gold was compulsory.  “If pure gold sold, jailed if adulterated gold sold, jailed.  How to do business?”  Food procurement policy was discussed.  I pointed out that for Defence Fund our Chief Minister could hardly collect twenty lakh whereas Film Star Night amassed thirteen crores.  Baba derided, “That shows value of ministers and cheap taste of people. You go in your state and ask any child who was Tukaram and he will not tell you but ask him about film actor and he will immediately tell you.”

He told story of Radhakant. “Once he brought a smuggled wrist watch for Rs.200 whereas its market price was Rs.500/-.  I rebuked him and told him to return even if money was not returned.  The name of Shaulmari Ashram has become as corruption remover but these people feel that Ashramites have right to corruption.”  In the morning Baba asked Shivacharanbabu that if it had been his own work, would he not have sent a substitute to High Court when he was unable to go.  Why different yardstick was used for the Ashram.  He then told me, “Suresh, all advocates of the Calcutta High Court Bar recognize me as ‘pagla Baba’ (mad Baba).  It is true.  Sometimes I behave like a mad person.” (Netaji in his writing confessed that he was eccentric.) Baba then related a story of Churchill.  “His son in law used to flatter Churchill very much.  Once on tea table he asked Winston as to who was the best statesman in the world.  After thinking over he answered Mussolini. The son in law said, ‘Sir, you are joking certainly’.  He expected Churchill to say his own name.  But Churchill said, “Yes. Mussolini because he was the first father-in-law in the world to shoot his son-in-law.”
At 4 P.M. Baba called us again.  We were sitting outside his hut in the courtyard.  He reiterated his waste of time of seven years in the Ashram and then said he would wash off debt of about thirty-five lakh rupees of the Ashram and make arrangement of all but he was unable to live in the plains.  He could not tolerate climate of plains and that he would continue his stay in the mountains. (Netaji loved mountains and its climate. He took respite at Shillong, Kurseong. Darjeeling, Nainital, Almora, Manali, Dalhousie and Swiss Alps.)  Gita, Ramanidada, Suresh and Shubir would be with him.  Shomu lost his chance due to mistake committed that day.  Then he said, “Divine people are ready to give what they have but nobody cares to take it.”  With irritation he added,         “ Suresh, look at Nehru. He went to cultural center of Swami Vivekananda   at Calcutta and in his long two hours’ speech he did not mention Swamiji even once. He had the audacity to write in his ‘Discovery of India’ that whenever Vivekananda went abroad he could create minor sensation as if  Nehru alone did it. Whatever he may be Nehru had definitely greatness. He maintained the personality. He was never cheap like present ministers. Once Nanda sent a CID person to Ashram. I knowingly  rebuked the Home Minister in the presence of that man with a view the message be carried to him. I have told you already how Nanda looks like a peon of Ghanashyamdas Birla in a photograph . Niharendu told me once that there was a cabinet meeting going on and a phone came from Birla House. One Minister became restless and immediately the meeting was .adjourned.”  Baba then recited a poem:

Money!  Money! Money!
Money that is sweeter than honey
Money that is brighter than the Sun

PARTITION   ZZZ

But without money nothing can be done Baba talked on partition of the country.  “You will not find a single Punjabi or Sindhi a beggar.  They are proud of their sacrifice.  It is insulting to call them refugees.  Once a Sadhu (probably himself) was traveling in a ‘tonga’ (horse-drawn cart).  He asked about whereabouts of driver cum owner.  He told that he was from Peshawar of west Punjab. The Sadhu was conversant with Peshawar so he asked him about the residential area where he lived.  The ‘mohalla’ (sector), Sadhu told him belonged to very rich and affluent people.  The driver admitted that he had huge property there but it was not in his ‘karma’. He said laughingly that Tonga was in his fate.”  Baba then remarked, ”The businessmen say that show a silver shoe to any minister and everything was achieved and done.”
The question of Indians in Ceylon arose.  He remained silent for long time, contemplated and said one line, “Ceylon has committed a mistake.”  (Subhash Chandra Bose is ideal of Prabhakaran the founder and chief of Liberation Tigers of Tamil Elam – LTTE) He then referred Indians in Africa.  He opined, “Indians have committed wrong in Africa.  They never took it as their country. They squeezed the Africans.  Even in Assam why Bengalis were beaten.  For long two hundred years the Bengalis squeezed the Assamese.  Once a violent elephant was standing on the road and two Bengalis were on one side and two Assames boys were on the other side.  The boys remarked to Bengalis “Come on.  Nothing will happen.  Bengalis are not born for death in the Durbar (court) of God. “Haribandhu ‘shunun’ (listen).” Baba explained to him in Bengli, “Complete family of Punjabis work hard on the farm from morning to evening.”  Then he turned to me and said in this context, “India can easily feed five hundred crores of people.  About future increase of population some other means will have to be devised.  This birth control method is worst and it will produce morbid and derailed progeny.  Has the Government thought of the future effect of some religions not adhering to this method? ”
Our gossip turned to world politics.  I remarked that for fast progress compulsory Dictatorship was essential in India.  He lamented that to find a benevolent dictator was a great problem.  He expressed good opinion about Col. Nasser.  Then said, “In arresting Dr. Mussadique they lost a good man.  They did not hang him because dead Mussadique would have been more dangerous than living one.  The poor fellow died in prison.  Lummumba was victim of Americans and so also Dag Hammerksjold.  That chap Sukarno, he was formerly very good but stupid egoism spoiled him.”

Baba then advised me to start practicing ‘Rajayoga’ from next day. “Suresh, study it well.  In that time and again wipe out egoism.  The more quietude you gain, more ego would try to dominate you.  Remember suppression of ego is worst.  Its elimination is best. If that is not done, expression of ego is better than suppression.”  I enquired whether pride and ego are one and the same.  He explained, “Pride is associated with egoistic mood inside, while self confidence is good.  It has firm conviction about the possibility of making potential energy into kinetic one.  Remember that even the great man and an ordinary man has no difference in potential energy.”

He enquired about cow.  Her calf died in the morning.  He told that he would not take its milk as the calf died.  He told to gift the cow to Shyamlal Pradhan of Chunni.  He insisted to give lot to eat to cow for a week so that she would forget the loss of calf.  Then before leaving he told me, “There are three prerequisites for individual progress.  Remember aspiration, rejection and acceptance.  Aspiration of high ideal, rejection of bad and evil out of you, and acceptance of good from others.  Ramkrishnadeo gave example of aspiration.  Remember it.  ‘Once a man dreamt that he was eating old crust of bread and salt. He awakened and abused himself that even in dream he could not eat sweets and good food.  He abused himself more.’ Suresh, remember if aspiration is high then dreams too are high.”  Baba then went inside. Gita had prepared his meals although twice he said in anger that he would cook his own food.  Shivachanranji got permission to leave tomorrow.  Haridas arrived from Laxaman Zula.  After dinner I wrote diary.  It was 10 P.M.

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