Posted By Author on April 20, 2011


At 3.30 A.M. it rained cats and dogs. There was not an inch of roof, which did not leak. I opened umbrella and cuddled beneath it. At 5.30 A.M. Ramanidada came. He awoke me in sitting posture under umbrella. He brought message that Baba had summoned me. I went to his hut.

Baba enquired as to how much money would be in balance after sending sixty rupees to Gyandada. I informed seventy rupees. I told him that wheat, charcoal, rubber slippers for Ramanidada and ladies were to be purchased but the budget was upset and hence cancelled. Baba then decided to send T.M.O. after arrival of money from Amravati. He told me to drop a letter to Gyandada accordingly and warned that Gyanbabu must reach the Ashram before 29th August. When I expressed my anxiety about usual shortage of money he said, “Let us see what happens in ten days.”

He melancholically narrated plight of Gobind, Shibnath, Salil and Ramen. The pressing demand for return of loan was tormenting them. I said that was the case with me too. He said, “Yes, Suresh even if payees do not demand refund we must keep our word. Chakraborty of Banaras has extended loan of Rs. One lakh ten thousand and with interest he is demanding one lakh eighty thousand. Let us wait till pooja. If money comes we shall invite all here in 3rd week of September. I categorically told him that I would not leave the camp until Gita and Dipali started for home. He said that Gita was often insisting and persuading him to go to the Ashram but until the loan from the mountainous area was cleared how could he leave. It was impossible for him.

I expressed my view that the atmosphere of the country was favourable to start the work. What was the problem? (I knew very well about it.) Baba said, “ I am impatient to start work. Every day I feel about starting it. It brooks no delay. The situation in the country is going from bad to worse every minute. There are no honest people in power. If in our sincere effort there is a failure I do not mind but such people are not there except this Morarji. Look here how shameful it is. Indira Gandhi told in public meeting that she did not take rice since one year. But was there not anybody in the public who questioned her as to how many eggs and chicken daily she takes. That in food shortage S.K. Patil once told in Calcutta to take more milk and fruits. How foolish it is. In twenty years they have not solved food problem in this vast country and they do not feel ashamed to go abroad with a begging bowl.  He queried as to who was S.K.Patil? I apprised him that he was a worker in a shop to stitch caps. He stole love letter of Jinnah’s fiancé and handed over to Vallabhbhai Patel and then rose in Congress. Baba laughed and then observed, “ I shall not beg for money in the first phase of our work. People must come and pay voluntarily. In second phase we shall send our men for collection. (Same thing did Netaji to raise funds for INA in SE Asia.) Well, now you take breakfast and proceed to Okhimath and reach post-office early.”

After hurried breakfast I reached Chunni and left can for milk. Shyamlal’s younger son proceeded to Kedarnath and then with Shyamlal we together went to Okhimath. I posted two telegrams, three personal letters and five letters of the Secretary. Did purchases. Gave Rs.twenty to a shopkeeper to get Baba’s cigarettes. Advanced five rupees to Ramsingh Pradhan to bring old wheat. We ate an apple per head and I returned with milk to the camp at midday. On way back twice I fell on the slippery wet footpath. It was nothing novel as it was a daily phenomenon. Luckily bones were intact. After lunch took rest.

At 3 P.M. I was with Baba and he gave the following dictation:

“Unoscillating concentration to whatever you do from the smallest to the greatest is one of the first essential needs of integrally spiritual development. If in the external work you cannot develop this ability of pointed concentration then when you will enter the real depth of the jungle of the darker penetration of the subliminal, you will be not merely at a loss but will rise up from there totally bewildered and return from there as a worst man.  This pointed concentration to whatever you do, even if it is a task of sweeping, along with very keen circumspection must be one of those virtues, which you genuinely aspire at.  In this respect if there is a tendency to distinguish one type of work from the other you will remain unfit for innermost penetration.  Objectively, of course, the value and importance of work varies but if there is a subjective differentiation in it then development will remain an            ever-receding goal for you.  Keep this in view always and be on your guard that this broad subjective principle of development is unswervingly followed. Any sort of cardinal or cerebral distraction or aberration should always be dealt with severely and done away with.  With rapt attention, pointed concentration, and all covering circumspection, you have to do whatever you are to do.”

It was drizzling. Baba continued work in the garden.  I brought calf and Bholu from outside and tethered them in my hut.  Baba called me and asked whether I brought Hawai slippers. I told that I knew not size and I was not directed to bring it.  He told Gita to give size and she said No.5 and No.6.  On this he castigated her telling to give each name and number in writing. Then he said to me, “ Even in smallest thing I do not like vagueness. There should not be confusion in thinking. One must talk precisely and clearly.” Then he ordered, “Whenever any villager comes, you should give him some vegetables.”  On the previous day one chap came and he was given vegetables. Baba remarked, ”There is a pleasure in giving our vegetables.”

Baba enquired whether I sent an express telegram to Advocate Purshottamdas Mantri of Kota.  I informed that I dropped a letter instead of telegram to save money.  He was off.  He chastised Secretary Ramanidada.  He asked him as to whether he could not recognize pro forma of telegram given to him.  When he saw the copy of the letter posted he admonished that the Advocate would take the letter insulting as there were no verbs in some sentences. In fact the telegram dictated by him was so long that it would have consumed lot of money and to save that Dada adjusted the alternative letter.  Baba’s old habit of lengthy telegrams remained unchanged in spite of scarcity of funds. (That was like Subhash Bose.)  The telegram dictated by him was as below

(15.8.67. 8 A.M.)

“To Purushottam (full address with degrees)

Your letter and wire to Radhakant reached hear redirected stop Due to intense economic difficulty my request to you somehow to pull on with the case stop All dues of necessary money will be sent to you definitely latest at third week of September if not earlier stop. With thanks and regards.

Ramani Ranjan Das

Secretary, Shaulmari Ashram

Baba then dictated a letter to me for Purushottamji and directed to send it by express delivery. Then Baba gave the earlier mentioned note to Ramanidada and me to always give pointed concentration and not discriminate work.  It was raining.  Ramanidada held an umbrella and I was writing. Baba too was under his umbrella.

Rain ceased. We went to work in the garden. He told me to make a heap of purposely-scattered manure.  I did so.  He changed his mind and again I had to scatter it.  Baba and myself then cleaned the bed of brinjals.  Baba told me, “ Suresh there is a proverb in Bengal that brinjal field should be kept as clean as a temple.” It was raining again.  Even then we cleaned beds of ladies finger and dahlias. Then we transplanted tomato plants from outside to his courtyard.  I was told to water them although it was raining. The principle he explained was that soil should become compact and stick up to fibrous roots.  Then together we reconnoitered the garden. He went in and was planting something in a pit he dug.  He permitted me to wash hands and I immediately left at much awaited opportunity.

The river was in spate of flood and water lever was rising fast.  Ramanidada came and lamented, “Suresh, I never cut grass or touched cow dung although I had a cow but here I do everything. I take it as training camp.  If there is no food any protein will do.  At the most death and what else will come?”  Was it frustration? Ramanidada’s daily routine is to graze the cow.  In fact it could not go astray from the island but Baba’s specific direction was to graze cow in his presence. He rigorously followed it.  What an irony?  Secretary engaged in grazing cow and killing flies.

Evening set in.  I completed diary and went to Baba to read out Shibnath Bose’s letter. After listening to the contents he suddenly roared, “Suresh, what is this? Rupees four and half per kilo coarse rice in open market of Calcutta!  How the poor will eat?  It is nonsense. ”He continued his growling for sometime.  Then we played with Chinu.  She was reluctant to come to me. Baba told me to induce her by offering flower.  I took her from his lap and she exploded in shrill cry.  I suddenly handed her over to Dipali.

I went to my hut.  After sometime, Baba called me and showed a three and half feet long gourd or cucurbit (lawki). Then we went to the riverside. The flood was in full swing. Deluge was rising fast. The turbulent river was swelling.  Both of us were gazing at the river with awe and admiration. Then Baba narrated the incident of last year when our bridge was swept away. Lecturers of Chamoli and Parashar of the Vidyapith crossed the bifurcated current by holding rope and reached the island. They and their students showed great courage.  Then he remarked, “Of course, sometimes to show one becomes more courageous.”  We saw brother of Rajendra coming. He was given a long gourd and entrusted with the task of informing Mitranand to reach the camp in the morning. He proposed to handover thirty rupees to Parashar through Mitranand as refund of loan. It saved my physical trouble of going to Guptakashi.  Baba then observed that if long gourds grew in plenty some would be given to cow so that she would give better quality of milk.  I enjoyed the costly proposal. I appreciated his bovine affection.

I then brought it to his notice that only sixty rupees were left in balance. He calculated and said all right.  He expressed his desire not to indulge in begging for any loan and that days would wear on by subsisting on vegetables and chapatis.  He suggested to pull on any how up to 30th August and then he would see the future.  Baba then warned, “Suresh, for the sake of money you will not go to Amravati.  Gyan must reach the Ashram by 30th Aug.”  Rains resumed.  I pointed out there was no coal for cooking and his meals would have to be made ready by 7.30 A.M.  He proposed that like previous day both of us would break posts of hut and prepare fuel.  I assured him that I would perform it alone. He left to take bath.  I removed stumps from my hut and Bholu’s old hut, axed it in pieces, bundled up and reached them for which Gita extended many thanks.  I was working in rain and yet sweating profusely.   My palms got blisters.  I went to take rest.

No sooner I reached the hut Baba called me with notebook.  It was 8 P.M. I changed clothes and dashed. I joined Gita and Dipali in his hut.  He gave the following dictation:

“The mechanism of the inner human structure is such that under its cumulative action the man is made to feel first and then to think and express himself in terms of whatever he feels.  The process goes on mostly unconsciously. In the Supreme device the plan of this mechanism is superb and in human plane it remains superb and acts as a superb agent of divinising developments if the feeling has necessary purity free from the pulls and push of the darker region of the subliminal which darker part in terms of Freudian psychology is called unconscious. When the feeling is not pure and not free from that mooring, objective thinking and an objective expression becomes very difficult and in most cases it becomes well nigh impossible. What then is way out? Definitely there is no metalled short cut and no made easy method. You have to keep yourself on the vigil all throughout your wakeful period. With self-consciousness always dominating your consciousness, it is possible to make yourself fit for really objective thinking. Objective thinking in a subject of study does not at all make you a man of integrally objective thinking even if in your subject of study you are cent percent objective. Making oneself tuned to objective thinking and objective expression irrespective of this or that is a tremendous job. A Heisenberg may be objective purely in his experiment but in his dealings with his friends and members of family he is generally not objective and his attempt at becoming objective is always coloured by subjectivity, good or bad. Note clearly that even if the good side of subjectivity interferes with objective thinking, it no longer remains objective.

What it then means? When a foremost scientist works upon a material thing, there is no occasion to interfere with it but when he comes out of his laboratory and moves in the world either at his own house or outside, at every step and every stage his feeling starts working and interferes with whatever he sees and hears and whatever he speaks there he is not at all cautious and conscious about the fact that in the name of objective observation he is a victim to whatever already is in the store of feelings, momentary or lasting. Whereas in his experiment he is always self-conscious and cautious to be objective, he is in his dealings with fellow men a kicking ball to a queer mixture of objectivity and subjectivity, which assumes a proportion of blending in degree of whatever reaction he gets. Not that this spontaneous reaction is within the reach of self-conscious. Generally speaking even if self-consciousness rises up, he either does not notice it or more or less evades it. In brief, about becoming objective he is not so serious in his dealings with his fellow men as he is in his subject of study. But this must be clearly borne in mind without any exception every moment of life in all its variegated functions must be            self-consciously kept, as a subject of study and you must not allow any moment to slip away from your grasp. That is one of the many principles that should govern you in your march towards Supreme Truth, Supreme Strength, and Supreme Knowledge.”  Completed at 9 P.M.

Baba asked me whether I understood the passage and I nodded. Afterwards he said, “Even Morarji is not fit to be a Prime Minister. He may be ideal but there is not the combination of objective thinking and subjective development.”

I then brought to Baba’s notice a text book published by the Rajastan Government in which Assam was cut off from India, part of Rajastan shown as of Pakistan and Mohammed  Jinnah mentioned as leader of India and that the concerned minister was a Muslim. Then Baba thundered, “And still is he a minister? Why no action has been taken against him? What else you can expect in this girl’s Government. Worthy daughter of a worthy father! (Sarcasm). Vijaya Laxmi would have been a far better choice. What a shame she (Indira Gandhi) declared that if her leadership were disturbed she would split the Congress. In spite of all his defects Nehru at least tried to keep unity in the Congress. “Then Baba referred a thought from the Blitz that Nehru died two years before his death. He then wondered at how her secretaries and ghostwriters wrote all statements and speeches of Indira Gandhi. He remarked, “It is shameful. What respect they will have for the Prime Minister? Can she not even draft a speech? If one has self-respect he or she would never do so. At the most one’s own speech one may memorize but not drafted by others. For a good lecture preparation is very essential.

Anyway he though it was too late. We were freed by Baba. I dined and went to bed.

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