Posted By Author on October 26, 2010
Got up early. The temperature was almost zero degrees centigrade. Message came that Baba called us all within half an hour. Cold wind was blowing. We had to take bath with cold water. Every one of us was shivering. We lit the fire but by then final call came. We sat in his hut in a row. Then Baba told us to close eyes and meditate. He took Chinu but she was crying. Again meditation continued. The Sun rose and we came out. Baba gave the following dictation at 10 A.M.
“Idealism is alright but if your idealism, in your enthusiasm to make it collectively sky soaring, makes you blind about inherent weakness of human nature then you live in a fool’s paradise. If your idealism is not thoroughly kinetic enough to find out ways and means for getting at it then it amounts to sheer fantasy. One thing in particular is to note that when you have an ideal before you then sheer idealism will show you no way in realizing it. Idealization when it takes the fantastic turn checks all growth by making man indulge in all sorts of indolent expectations and in some cases even makes man indulge in sheer day-dreaming over it without even indolent expectation. This sort of idealism is a kind of mental disease and should be wiped out of nature mercilessly in toto. There is a gulf of difference between idealization and the realization of the ideal. Idealization is not even the first step for realization. It should be clearly borne in mind that life of a man of such fantastic idealism will be a dismal failure. Not only this, if the man concerned is otherwise mentally powerful then this fantastic contagion will spread to spell disaster upon a big section of humanity. To make love for creatures is all good but the ways of loving must not be prototype monotony. If it is, you are bound to reap full harvest of it. In your zeal for loving a tiger, if you give it a hug, you may very well imagine the consequence. Of course, it is quite possible to get at a stage of development when an embrace with a tiger may arouse a lovingly reciprocal response from it but as long as that stage is not reached, it is nonsensically disastrous to indulge in sheer fantasy and imitation. A Ramatirtha may dance with a ferocious bear but until you become a Ramtirtha your attempt to dance with bear will extort blood from your face and body. This is, of course, an extreme example. Really in every walk of life, at its every stage and phase, you must be on your guard that any fantastic over enthusiasm does not make you blind about the relative reality of things. With an eye as sharp as Divine eagle, you have to find out where which thing stands. If where the things stand and how to make them march ahead is not known to you and with knowledge you cannot apply the means to the goal, the failure is there waiting in ambush for you. If you are to avert that disaster, fantasy is the first thing to be rooted out from your nature. It is true indeed up to the second formative period, i.e., up to about eighteen years’ age, fantasy if inherently kinetic plays a healthy role in ushering in a healthy development for the near future, just as dolls and toys are essential for the growth of babies but if with the advancing age the fantasy is not progressively replaced by ideological and idealist thinking and dealing of a practical pattern, it will stagnate the whole life and life forces will be benumbed.”
Yesterday I asked Baba whether the masses would accept the spiritual plan. I knew it stormed his brain and hence the above passage.
After the dictation we were made to perform meditation for two minutes and then allowed to leave.
We finished lunch. I was taking a nap when I was awakened and told that Baba was calling me in. I took the notebook and rushed in. He made me sit in the courtyard. He too had a nap. He started dictation, “Yesterday you—–” and stopped it and told that whatever private and personal notes he gave should be kept separately. The rest might be given to Saxena. I related my experience to him and Baba said, “I am also getting strongly suspicious about him. Tell me everything. He may be driven out but let us give him a chance to improve.” I had to reveal his selfish attitude and listening surreptitiously. It was Baba’s dictat to cover the wet soil after urination and wash genitals. In Hindi genital is called ‘indriya’ and Saxena used to carry mug of water to implement Baba’s dictat whenever he went to ease. However he used to cut a silly joke always that he was going to wash Indira. Shomu conveyed this silly joke of Ramesh Saxena to Baba. Baba ordered to call all including Saxena. (Netaji always hated silly jokes.)
Ramanidada, Shomu, Gobind Radhakant, Saxena and I assembled near Baba. Dipali and Gita were told not to come. Then Baba lambasted Saxena. He asked him as to why did he tell Mitranand that Baba did beat Radhakant. Why did he cut meanest of mankind joke about Indira Gandhi and that he was not even equal to her shoes. Baba told him to stand up, hold both the ears, accompany Ramanidada, and touch feet of Radhakant apologetically. He completed the procedure. Then Baba gave a lecture and made him understand his faults and warned him not to indulge in vulgar jokes. Saxena was crestfallen and was almost about to roll tears. Baba then gave the following dictation:
4 P.M. (1) Selfishness in any walk of life is a poison to the self. I admit to eradicate selfishness in toto requires time. But if indulgence in grossest selfishness is there then correction will be almost impossible.
2) When you live with your fellow men both superior and inferior to yourself, sometime occasion will arise when you have to administer reprimand to your youngsters but you have no right to rebuke anybody unless you have love for him. (He quoted an example that an officer in the Ashram rebuked a menial servant in mean words and hence he was punished.)
3) Whenever any of you observe selfishness in any of your brothers, with a feeling of correction bring it to his notice and explain to him the implication of selfishness observed. This must be a mutual task and must be reciprocated by each other. Any taking offence on the part of any of you when a defect and drawback of your nature is brought to your notice by any of your brothers will turn you a misfit in the Ashram community with all its necessary consequences.
4) There is a dangerous habit in human nature to make an attempt to hear something, which he knows he is not entitled to hear. This is a grievously immoral attitude. A man with an iota of self-respect in him will never indulge in it. Remember if it is observed, you have that immoral bent in you and you apply it practically, nobody here will trust you and in the heart of everybody it will be kept burning, here is a man who is a deceiver and not a trustworthy one. If I here speak to Gobind and you remain just outside on some pretext or the other really with the repulsive motive of hearing what is going about Gobind then you are the meanest immoral.
5) With glare of cheap success and with the sting of failure repeated hundreds of time is too much for you, you cannot pull on with me. A task will be undertaken once, twice, thrice, many times, it will be interrupted, a temporal failure will be there. If you do not know and do not learn how the firm, solid edifice of success is being built on these bases of these repeated failures, you will be emotionally unfit to have any association with here.”
Baba then sent us four outside instructing to tell own faults and drawbacks to each other and come back. He would then question each one of us. We went out but he called immediately and told that the practical would be done later on. Baba told all of us that we would dine in his kitchen and sent Saxena outside under the pretext of some work and then Baba gave the following note to me:
(Saxena came midway and he was allowed to take down the note.)
“Man is a mixture of good and bad in varied degrees. Co-operation demands that you bring your fellow men into confidence even when he may not be thoroughly relied upon. By putting confidence into him and by making him aware that you put confidence in him, you lay bare avenues for him to make himself fit for trust.”
I queried with Baba that if someone betrayed and Baba replied that it was very rare case but normally victory was assured.
I came back to our hut. Radhakant was kneading wheat flour and preparing dough for ‘chapatis’. Saxena avoided strenuous work and Radhakant taunted him in a light vein. Then Radhakant told past story of an incident epitomized below:
‘Once Baba declared a public prayer meeting at Shaulmari Ashram. Huge crowd rushed. A Superintendent of Police and his officer came in civil dress. They were detained by Ashramites. The officers humbly prayed to get ‘Darshan’ of Baba. They were told to remove revolvers and that they will have to sit in the last row. To this they agreed. However, they were taken to the first row on Baba’s instruction and handed back their revolvers.”
“There was a Swami of Arya Samaj from Bulandshaha along with two disciples. His name was Swami Shivanand. He had lot of worshipers in all the big cities, which included officers and men of repute. These three were detained at the gate. They created lot of trouble. This fellow published a booklet in which defamatory statements were made against Ashram. They were driven out. Later on in the name of Ratan Maheshwari of our Ashram, a letter was sent to this Shivanand requesting him to send his booklet for translation in Bengali. Permission was sought to translate and publish it in Bengali. He sent the booklet and reply. The Swami was be-fooled. On the basis of the booklet, a case was instituted against him. It was still going on. There was a signature on the booklet of some officer named Handa from Calcutta. His wife was also educated. They too were involved in the case. Both of them came to Ashram and tendered written apologies. They also gave in writing that without seeking their permission Swami Shivanand forged their signatures. Baba promised to withdraw case against them in future.”
Lot of time elapsed and yet there was no call for dinner from inside. I expressed my worry that something must have had gone wrong. I was correct. Baba closed himself in his hut. Shomu in camera told me that there was trouble. After an hour all of us were called by Baba in his hut. Silence ruled for a while. Then Baba thundered. He started steaming off anger. The old things were repeated. In last seven years he could neither teach nor improve we people. According to him humanity was insensible. He pointed out that twice we delayed (by three minutes or so) our arrival. He said first he would rebuke anyone in privacy, then before couple of people, then before all, yet there was no improvement. Ultimately he left Ashram and came to the Himalayas as he was fed up. However, I knew the real cause of coming over here. I could realize his unimaginable mental worry and pressure. He then gave news from Gyandada’s letter that arrived just then. There was a nuisance of some man repeatedly entering Ashram. Ultimately Mira Sen and Rajat Bhadra’s wife Jharana threatened him to beat with shoes.
He then gave a note in Bengali to Ramanidada. Its contents were that it was impossible to start work for him by the old method. To implement new method, a transitional period was necessary and therefore chances of starting the work were one in hundred. He further added that he lost his will and he would have told Mother to start work but even that will was exhausted because of us.
Baba said, “I told Dipali and Gita to go back to Ashram but they are not listening. When I will be arrested with Ramani and both taken away then let them live alone. Then they will realize.” After some time water was sprinkled on the floor and incense was burnt and all were sent out except Shomu, Radhakant, and me. Shomu told me that Gita committed some mistake and hence the trouble. She was all the while sitting dejected with hands on cheeks and wrinkles on forehead.
First Shomu alone tried to assuage Baba alone and then we joined him. Radhakantji began his sermon in Hindi, “We are idiot human beings and Baba you should show us the way for salvation.” Baba told him that for non-refund of borrowed money Krishnakant, Ramani, he and Suresh would go to jail. Radhakant said that for Divine work if the jail was proper place, all would welcome it. I had uncontrollable laugh at his simple and straight statement. At last we left his hut. None of us took dinner although I was hungry.