Posted By Author on March 4, 2011

I completed routine and Baba came out in the morning.  Yesterday he told me that he would come out for a very short time next day and on the contrary he was mostly out the entire day.

All of us were called.  He told that cows be taken to Guptakashi and sold there. He took out his blanket for sale.

Gobind promised him that with all domestic difficulties he would toil for another fifteen days.  Ramesh also cancelled his departure.  I declared that I would go when mother’s letter would come.  With resistance Baba reconciled but even then he insisted sale of cows for daily expenditure.  All of us assured him that upto 7th or 15th we will pull on anyhow.  Suddenly his mood changed and face brightened.  Then cancelled the sale.  After a little gossip all of us were guided to water the garden. Cleaned vegetable beds, etc.  I came back and took bath again and had lunch.
Shomu was on his way to Guptakashi and he brought Baba’s message that all of us should be ready with written answers to note sent by him.  I was entrusted with the task of reading out the note and explain it to all. The note ran:

For All of You

“It may be that a few days later or earlier the work of this place will be crowned with success.  It may be also that an increasingly harder covering a long time in futility will be necessary for making the work of the present phase succeed in its real sequence and import. If immediately the prospect of this longer struggle is too much for any of you, then it is better for him to decide here and now to quit this association, only those who are ready to embrace eternal struggle without dejection and grumbling will have any place here; all others will be sooner or later compelled by circumstances to disassociate themselves.  There need not be any dreamy introspection about it, this is the stark reality.”

This was not new to anyone of us and hence we had a peaceful nap.

At 4 P.M. all of us assembled around him. He asked smilingly every individual about his answer and all gave proto type admission ‘Ready to suffer’.  When my term came I told him that this was not new to me and both Ramanidada and Baba acknowledged it with resounding laughter.  Then all of us got busy working in garden.  Baba came near my beetroot bed and said, keep it written. “ More of the caliber of patience, the shorter will be span of the trouble.”

“Without deep continuous introspection you cannot get at the root of impulses that generally come out in spite of yourself so much so that even after a particular impulse expresses itself into words, one does really become conscious about it.  As long as it remains outside the domain of your grasp one-self has nothing to do about it.  It is for this reason you of your own choice choose one or more friends to form something of the nature of a group in which one will point out to the other about the expression of an impulse.  Then after getting this knowledge from the friend when you become aware of it, your main task starts.  At first you may not get any explanation and even if you get at some explanation in yourself, at once a vigorous protest may surge up from within repudiating everything as mere fantasy.  Extreme courage is necessary to shut up this mischievous protest from within.  Without that courage and sincerity of purpose, introspection will always fail, nay; it will complicate the issue more desiccative into something that may turn worst than the original impulse.  Here you may ask for suggestions from your friends about the possible interpretation and then duel upon and think over it with full seriousness.  Very often impulsive falsehood apparently unmotivated goes unnoticed — an impulsive falsehood which all with very rare exceptions indulge in allowing to manifest rather are forced without knowing to allow to manifest.  If one says one never speaks falsehood then either he is a highly advanced ‘Sadhak’ face to face directly with the Supreme Truth or does not know what one speaks or to that extent one might be indulging in conscious falsehood. The third type tends to be incorrigible. It is only the second type that may turn inward to find out what the reality really is.  If for some length of time generally about a year or so one can keep himself above uttering falsehood, both deliberate and impulsive, a special divinising force is by that simple practice sure to spring up to give you enough mental and vital strength and enough knowledge and vision to make life really ennobling.  Really even one year’s observance may be in most cases sufficient to make one ‘Waksiddha’, but then this may turn out disastrous for the aspirant because if the aspirant has not aroused the other balancing type of spiritual forces, these ‘Siddhis’ may at any moment run riot to force you think to pour curses on people who have the misfortune of getting him enraged and immediate fall from the lofty position will be the sure result but the simple thing as stated about is not so simple as it seems to be.  Very arduous perseverance with all genuineness in the operation of the heart and the brain can after long sincere practice make one the real observer of truth.  To master over the false thinking and false feeling is far more difficult than this though even these cannot be attained without some degree of avoiding and control over these two types of falsehood.  Anyway when both deliberate and impulsive falsehood in expression is eliminated you have the necessary strength to do away with the deeper too.”

The moment above passage was written over I said to Baba that a telegram must be sent to Budhiballabhji not to send Malta fruits. To be frank I was bored to brim and he rightly caught me saying as to how and why I suddenly changed the topic instead of discussion on it.  He rightly deduced that I was not attentive and I got sufficient scolding for that.  He narrated a story of a Swami who for the same reason kept his disciple standing outside for six days.  He then said in Hindi “Your childhood is not over yet and you too deserve similar treatment.”

I then pointed out to Baba that Gandhiji said that most difficult thing in life is to speak the truth. Even Dharmaraj had to say ‘narowa kunjarowa’ (Man or elephant) and could not adhere to absolute truth. Average person is too weak to fathom and practice the precept of truth. Baba commented, “To strive to achieve the unachievable is real valour.’ For the benefit of humanity even Gods took recourse to falsehood when the sea was churned and fourteen jewels came out. Out of it nectar was the lot of demons but by trick Gods achieved it. Here falsehood is not offence as it is for the welfare of humanity.”

After his meal in the evening we got a call and hence we assembled at 8 P.M.  A letter from an advocate from Assam was received and Baba informed us happily that the High Court accepted our appeal against Vasant Giri who was a veritable Satan.  Then he told me to write down:

“A man guilty of committing crimes against humanity cannot see things in their real perspective.  He is always consciously or unconsciously afraid of his guilt being exposed.  In his fear he does things that progressively add to his intricately knotted bundle of guilty conscience can genuinely generate dynamic compunction, it will compel the polluting vital to take a different course.  It will evoke the grace of the Light and the Force to descend with proneness not to be repulsed by ignorance and lay the foundation in the mind and the vital to receive and retain them.  Remaking yourself depends upon your ability of retaining the pouring Grace.”

Baba told that this passage was sent through Niharendu to Jawaharlal Nehru and he said to Niharendu, “I really do not understand what this Ashram is!” Baba added, “Nehru committed criminal crime in regard to the treatment given to Subhash Bose.” Then Baba narrated as to how Nehru tried to murder him.  I contradicted him and pointed out that it might have been an exaggeration of the officer caught in the Ashram with revolver.  Matter was debated.

Baba then gave me Krishnakantji’s letter to read.  In that he indicated repentance, etc.  He informed that Banarasidas was indulging in defaming Ashram, etc.  He also cautioned that Vinod Sharma might go to court to claim refund of the loan bonds, etc.

Baba then dictated the following letter to the Chief Minister of U.P. and told me to write another regarding Sidholi incident.


Shri Charan Singh,

Chief Minister,

Govt. of Uttar Pradesh,



Dear Mr. Chief Minister

It has been brought to our notice that a man allegedly connected with an institution described as ‘Sadachar Samiti’, Jangambadi, Banaras named Banarsidas Gaud has been spreading through lectures and publications utterly false and criminally mischievous rumours about the Shaulmari Ashram. It has also been brought to our notice that perhaps you know this mischievous creature.  The calumnious publications by this man about the Shaulmari Ashram do not contain the name of the printing press from which it is published and this is the difficulty in our instituting a criminal case against this contemptible man. Your attention is hereby drawn to this mischievous and malignant propaganda against our Ashram with the exception that you would be kind enough to take necessary action in the way you deem fit against this mischief monger who is not only idulging in heinously criminal

falsehood against a holy Ashram but also committing a social crime of illegal publication.

Thanking you in anticipation with due regards,

Dated: 26/4/1967

Sincerely yours

Sd/- Ramani R Das”

C/O Sub postmaster, Okhimath,

Dist. Chamoli, U.P.

I read out this letter to Baba five times and with additions and omissions ultimately when satisfied the draft was finalized. I also suggested line from ‘not only’ on ward in the above letter.

Afterwards all were sent out and I was alone detained and then Baba gave the following dictation:

“In conversation or writing when you do not understand something and express yourself for repetition on my part, you have an ugly habit of saying ‘Ah Ah’. This sort of expression must be corrected and should not be repeated. What is regarded, as unmannerliness is not a matter of formality?  What is regarded as unmannerly is physically wrong under certain conditions. It is this physically wrong attitude in the depth that makes behaviour unmannerly. For example the expression ‘arre’ prevalent in U.P. even amongst the youngsters in their discussion with the elders shows an amount of impatience, which normally and generally should not be given vent to in presence of elders. Man will have to be studied with this physical aspect clearly in view and if on analysis something is found basically without anything psychologically wrong, it must not be regarded as unmannerly behaviour. When you stigmatise something as unmannerly you have to by proper analysis find out beforehand how and why it is so. Without that clarity of understanding your sense of behaviouristic manner will be a merely stagnant formality inconducive to your growth.”

There was discussion on the above and I admitted my fault, which was due to impaired hearing and his Cambridge tone of absolutely new vocabulary to me. I said hence hereafter I would say beg pardon. He laughed and told that he also had lost hearing of one ear. Then Baba related customs of ugly habits in different countries. Baba told me to call others and directed to delete first sentence from the above passage and give it to Saxena as he was also doing ‘Ah Ah’ and in lighter vein I pointed it out to him and Baba laughed heartily. Again gossip began. It was 10.30 P.M. and seeing my restlessness Baba relieved us all.  Dined and slept.  Watch T.V. Many people in interviews or speech utter ‘Ah   Ah’. Or  ‘ Err, Err. ‘. Baba explained that this faltering is known as ‘disfluency.’

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