Posted By Author on May 19, 2011


Got up early. Festival of lights begins today. First day of Diwali festivity called ‘Narkachaturdashi’ meaning the fourteenth day of lunar almanac, a day before the dark Moon, on which Lord Krishna killed demon Narkasur.  ‘Laxmi Poojan’ is also today. It is on the day of dark Moon.  It is a ritual on which day goddess of wealth Laxmi is worshipped, household ornaments are venerated and new account year begins. Every house displays firework. House is decorated with burning earthen lamps. After finishing the rituals I was called in.  Mohanbabu was there standing like statue and hanging his head in shame.  Baba was indignant on him for as directed he did not scold his father-in-law and boycotted him.

At 9 A.M. I took bath and went to Haribandhu and had breakfast of mudi.  At 11.30 A.M., after his meals Baba called me in.  Gossip ensued.  Baba woefully expressed, “Suresh, Israel is the creation of Americans as is the Pakistan of United Kingdom.” I then brought it to Baba’s notice that I was given to read a copy, which he wrote about Arab-Israeli conflict and sent the registered letter on 5th Sept.1967 from Gangtoli to me and that was missing.  Baba then reminded me to send a complaint and lodge a strong protest to the Director General of Post and Telegraphs.  I casually told him that handsome priest Bijoy performs rituals but did not get returns (dakshina). His fate line was extraordinarily strong and prominent.  Consequently discussion followed on palmistry.  Baba then extended the rare privilege of having food inside his kitchen.  However I politely declined and told him that Shantididi would be waiting for me to dine at her place.  Baba then reluctantly postponed it to next day.

Along with Gobind I went to Dinudada and his widowed sister Shantididi.  She heartily served the elaborate menu.  After lunch I was seated near Baba for a brief period and returned for rest and nap.  Got up at 4 P.M.  On request of Ramanidada I broke the lock and opened his almirah i.e. cupboard. Then with Parth, brother of Sukumar, I went for a long walk. He showed me a vast patch of land that was to be acquired for extended branch of the Ashram in near future.  The day was peaceful.  When I returned it was dark and every house was decorated with array of lamps. The sound ‘ulu, ulu, ulu’ of Bengali ritual reverberated the atmosphere.  However that festive pleasure was not long to be.

When I returned I received a bolt from blue. I was informed that Baba declared his decision to go to Parshuram in Assam as he was exasperated by defiance of his order to Dipali and Gita to absorb in the evening the mild Sunrays in eyes.  They were late.  That flared him up beyond imagination. When mental worries and pressure mounts he finds an excuse to go away. He packed his meager mobile kit and was ready in his usual travelling attire.  When I reached he announced that he would walk down nine miles to Bhopradunga and further board the train.  He took ninety rupees wrapped in a piece of old newspaper, as he never touched money directly.  As per his desire Haribandhu, Kali and Gaurkishor were to accompany him up to railway station.  As usual he was his other despondent self.  He then played his old record that his body could not sustain amongst humans, someone else would come to carry on his work, Chinu would perish soon, etc.  He took Chinu in his lap and performed inexplicable tantric ritual.  He embarked upon his journey at 8 P.M. All of us were tense and traumatized till he left.  Worry and suspense weighed on everybody’s nerve. We saw him off at the precincts of the Ashram.

After his departure all were worriless.  Comments reached my ear.  ‘Where will he go?  It is nothing new.  By tomorrow he is bound to be back.’

I kept thinking of his woes. I came to the conclusion that he was obsessed by money crunch, enhanced responsibility of feeding numerically more hungry souls with no source of earning, his inability to reveal himself and consequently unable to procure money, slanderous vilification by people of Falakata and the Statesman, fear of non-acceptance by masses as spiritualist and divinising political head due to Chinu’s birth etc.  His apparent erratic, fetish and odious behaviour was wrongly judged by average Ashramites, mostly devoid of intelligence, as his freaks and fancies.  They could never imagine that intense mental pressure and dilemma was the root cause of his claustrophobic errands, which released mental pressure.  Except Ramni Ranjan Das, Pandey brothers and me none had capacity to understand his quandary.  No, none could fathom his eccentricities.  Although, I was conscious of the fact that ignoramus followers besieged him, on this occasion I neither resisted him nor craved to go with him.

I had my dinner at Dinudada and dawdled to rest house riddled with teeming mosquitoes.  Before I went to sleep a thought pricked my mind that Ratan should not have overstepped the bounds of decency considering his past close association and lacunae of personal promiscuous life. That Baba was a real Royal Bengal tiger preferring to shun humanity and love seclusion.

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