I got upset

Posted By Author on December 14, 2010

3/2/1967:

8 A.M. I got up early and completed routine.  I was about to go for bath when Baba called me and I was surprised to see him because he was to remain closed.  He warned that all the cooking in the camp must be finished before 10.30 A.M.  Then he told me to call Ramsingh from Okhimath and offer him one shirt and pyjamas. Baba was disgusted with his dirty clothes, probably only one set he used day and night for months together.  We sat and Saxena joined us.  Baba gave the following dictation:

The whole country is now standing at the crossroads. Two alternatives as presented by the natural course seem to be unavoidable.  Either the country will digress to more inertia or a bloody revolution may surge up.  Both will be equally bad, equally disastrous and what seems to be unavoidable will have to be avoided.  On the one side people with selfish thinking occupying high status in the society have been goading the ignorant masses to turn them into a mechanical instrument to grind their own axes.  On the other the unthinking masses, for which nobody really and genuinely thinks, are continuously plunging into a sea of inertia.  Naturally the queer complex will usher in a disaster for the whole nation if the problems are not handled rightly before it is too late.  No country can really progress through revolutions.  Whatever may be apparent success through revolutions is bound to gather back-momentum sooner or later.  Of course, there is basic difference between taking to arms judiciously for a righteous cause and insensible violent revolution.  As humanity stands where it is the necessity to taking to arms cannot be altogether precluded.  But all attempts and all care will have to be taken so that the country does not plunge into a violent revolution involving the insensible mass.  Democracy is all right but a façade of democracy without democratic thinking and feeling is a ruinous tragedy.  In your glamour to be democratic if you lose sight of this vital aspect of the problems facing us you have to pay full price of your folly by inviting an avoidable national disaster.  When people develop sense of privilege and right without simultaneously developing sense of duty to themselves and to their fellow men it is a calamitously notorious development from which many nations have suffered seriously.  Before installing a really democratic education the latter must precede the former and not vice versa.  The childish zeal in this respect as in all matters will lead you nowhere.  Pouring lectures from housetops will not make people democratic.  Tragically this is how that the leaders of the country have tried to arouse a democratic sense, a futility out and out.”

In discussion on the above passage I requested him to kindly explain the meaning of judicious mind. He got the import of my question, laughed and assured to explain in future.  After a little more gossip we came out for bath.

In the noon Radhakantji was watering the garden and told me to repair tube of D.D.T. pump that he broke with his titanic strength. With great difficult Bhaiyya and I removed the clamp and repaired it.  In the evening we were told to assemble in Baba’s inner courtyard.  Shomu was made our demonstrator.  He performed exercise and we repeated it.  Baba was watching everybody’s action. Then he himself demonstrated a few modes of exercise. (Netaji in autobiography on page 127 mentions, “ drill lessons interested me.”) We repeated.  Then he told to make a back arch touching hands to the ground. None could do but I did it.  Baba was pleased. He advised to keep body elastic and alacritic always.  After exercise we came out. (In Bhavanipur jail Netaji realized importance of exercise and then onward he was regularly taking exercise.)

I never take tea but coffee only.  It was not available in the market.  Radhakant ordered tea and I said I too would have coffee.  He insisted on coffee for all.  I denied due to shortage.  He gave sermon on my selfishness not realizing shortage and non-availability. An altercation followed and ended in my resentment. I threw cigarettes and did not take food.  All were tense and realized their mistake.  Tears rolled down to see the state of affairs of their camaraderie.  I was disgusted.

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