More Routine & Dictations

Posted By Author on April 22, 2011

17/8/1967:

Got up leisurely. Strolled in the garden after completing daily chore. Baba came out. Shyamlal arrived, therefore first cancelled my going to Okhimath. It was drizzling. Again Baba decided I should go to post letter and purchase Hawai slippers for Gita and Dipali.

Reached Okhimath. Made purchases, etc. Mitranand met there. Together we came back. The river was in terrific turbulences. With mortal fear we crossed the bridge. It was very dangerous to walk on the frail structure. Baba, Dada and ladies assembled on the other bank and were watching with suspense and anxiety. We reached safely and all of us were watching the surging flood. A big log came drifting and got stuck-up against bridge. Ramanidada suggested to tie it with rope to our bridge to claim our right otherwise others may take it away. I dared not but gathered smaller pieces of driftwood. With difficulty, bag of charcoal arrived. It was raining throughout the day.

With Baba, toiled in the garden. Lunch. Nap. After getting up worked in the bed of radish. Baba came and we sat for chat. The talk opened on Israel. I surmised that the country’s spying system must have had been best. But taking advantage of it they should not have attacked first. It would have been better to defend on the border. He related maxim that war must be fought on enemy’s territory to escape ravages. (This was Shivaji’s policy.) He opined that if Israeli had waited patiently they would have been finished completely. Then he became silent and serious. After pondering a while he told me, “In that predicament there was no objection but morally we must not attack first.  ” I reminded the adage that there was no morality or scruples in love and war as both were blind. He laughed.

After his meal he called us all inside and gave instructions as to what we should do during his fast that was to begin from Monday. After that I dined and retired.

18/08/1967:

It was early morning and Ramanidada awoke me to tell that I should wash limbs and rush to Baba in changed clothes. I went to his hut and instantly Baba told me to write down:

“Sometimes behind apparently innocent expressions, grave implications lie. You have to be self-conscious not only to your mind and the vital but even to the very cells of your physical body. It is only this increasingly penetrating               self-consciousness that would give you a real grip upon all sorts of impulsiveness. Today you will write some apparently very simple and innocent expressions and have an analysis of these so that you may find out for yourself how unwillingly the subconscious and the unconscious play the mischief without even your suspecting their parts as such.

Yesterday when I asked you to send the letter to Purshottamdas Mantri of Kota as a registered letter with acknowledgement due, you at once with an unsuspected touch of roughness observed, ‘You told me to send it as an express letter’, apparently there is nothing wrong about this expression but behind it there is an implication. Of course, you were told to send the letter as an express one but after second thought I considered it wiser to send it as a registered letter with A.D. so that letter is not lost. Now if you carefully look into it then will find out there is an association of this unwitting roughness with the mild rebuke both you and Ramani got for not being careful about sending the previous telegram as it was a telegram but mistakenly sent it as a letter. A sort of unpleasant reaction worked in the depth most probably without your knowing about it and the unwitting roughness of expression is a manipulation and manifestation of that unpleasant reaction. And it has more association too. When I asked you whether you had brought the Hawai slippers, you due to lack of attention and concentration told me that I had told you to bring the slippers a few days later. This expression, which is not true, is also an outcome of the manipulating unconscious, which in its own mechanism works under a cloak not to allow you to understand how and why you speak and behave in a certain way. All these combined together to sprout up without your grasp at it as an undesirable expression is, of course, very difficult always to be vigilant about the vital, mental and physical impulsiveness thrown into action by the mischief making subconscious and the unconscious. You will face tremendous difficulties, inner and outer, to lord it over them. But this very difficult job will have to be done and without successfully doing it none can make any successful headway into the spiritually integral development. You must always aspire at developing total and integral thinking and total and integral feeling not coloured by the actions and machinations of the subconscious and the unconscious.

A few months ago when I and you were going to ‘Sangam’, I told you how continuous disturbance and break in the works undertaken for long eight years has wrecked this physical body to which the Mother for her own works imparted steel nerves. You without thinking observed ‘Age also must have done something to bring about that wreckage.’ The expression is very innocent and simple apparently but behind it grave implication lies. Am I so ignorant as not to distinguish between whether it is done by age or by the continuous break of the work?  From this simple expression you may make your own elaboration.

A few months ago, one day we were discussing about various topics of the Ashram.  I told you that generally it is my habit to tell the Ashramites to do something in an indirect manner so that taking clue from this indirect expression they on their own initiative take up the task with full-fledged function of their heart and brain. Not that I do not make direct assertions but sometimes the former method is applied so that Ashramites gradually develop keen sense of understanding and penetrating impulse of feeling.  At this you observed, ‘In this world even sons and daughters do not much care to carry out an indirect suggestion of their father and mother.’  Now those who cannot regard this man very much closer and nearer with all its implications to their worldly father and mother will always remain at a loss and it is not an externally emotional truth but more real than the worldly reality of one’s being son or daughter of his or her parents.  Of course, an integral feeling about it will take time to come about.  But the conception as a start must be always there, and the more you have so, the easier will it be for you to tread this most difficult path of inner penetration by on your own initiative the most deeply linking yourself with the working of this heart and brain.  What I myself do is only one side of the picture, what you yourself do adds real force into it. “Laughingly he remarked, “ Suresh, I do not forget things easily.”

It was amazing to see Baba so touchy, sensitive and emotional even on minuscule in our day-to-day behaviour.  It appeared that he had implanted a silicon chip of a computer memory in his elephantine grey matter. He had a vast storage of memory. One was astonished to see his fantastic fault finding and then its psychological analysis. He was always demanding more and more, in all respect, than what one could offer or rather had capacity and intrinsic value to offer.

Baba was in good mood and with a little gossip I came out and after sauntering through garden went for rest. After sometime, Ramanidada came. He was grazing the cow and requested me to graze the calf. I did so but I had to run a lot after it as it went amuck.  My clothes were soiled.  I was panting like a sprinter.  Ramanidada was not well.  Mud was applied to forehead.  His round dhoti was folded to knees and had a dark shawl across shoulder.  It was amusing to see him like Julius Caesar. It was a fun to watch him.

After Baba’s meal he made me sit near him and said, “Look here, with all human circumspection one must look at things. What Americans or Israelis did for rehabilitation of ousted Arabs?  Jews might have suffered at the hands of the Germans but what Arabs did to them?  If the Dravidians claim India and oust we people, will it be reasonable?  True that Jews occupied the country two thousand years before and they have right to occupy Jerusalem area but they should not be inhuman to Arabs.  My feeling is towards ArabsCol.Nasser is basically a good man.  But when India helped him at Suez crisis what he reciprocated during Chinese or Pak aggression?  He definitely wished for India but could not afford at the cost of Muslim world’s resentment.

This present Prime Minister of England is pragmatic. He has no principle.

When Nehru passed Hindu Code Bill, it showed his political and moral bankruptcy. And what utter folly it is? He allowed the Christians to enter the Nagaland but not Hindus and Muslims.”

There was more talk and then I played with tiny toddler Chinu.  I took lunch and left for Okhimath.  The sky was getting clear.  With halts and rest I went. The sunlight appeared.  Purchased rope for cow, flour, pulses, jaggery, edible oil, etc. worth rupees twenty-five.  Received only one letter from the post office and returned at 5.30 P.M.

Mitranand had come.  He was cutting grass. I gave him vegetables.  With change of clothes I went to Baba. Along with Baba spread manure and transplanted tomato saplings until it was dark.  He went for his dinner and I completed the work in dim light of a candle.  Baba again joined me.  He said, “ At least one crore rupees we shall have then alone we can start for the Ashram.  Let us see how much Mother offers.  I am trying my best.” I observed that he should not say try but definitely do it.  I brought to his notice acute stringency of money and requested to get money if possible in the very month.  He said his efforts were in the same direction so that in the first week of September all should be able to proceed for Ashram.  He suggested to watch and wait.  Then I read out the letter.  It was from a Muslim overseer of a tea garden near Shaulmari Ashram.  He himself extended loan of rupees eleven thousand to the Ashram in addition to his collection from others. It was lot of money. Haripad and his notorious band were threatening him that he should ask for refund.  Baba instantly got infuriated, “This Haripad.  I will have to peel off skin from his back by whipping.”  He calmed down and told me to send a reply.  Then he suggested dining and going to bed early, as he was likely to call me at cock’s crow.  He left.

I finished dinner and went to bed at 8 P.M. It rained heavily most of the night and I had to sit with umbrella over.  In the wee hours I could snatch a nap.

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