More routine

Posted By Author on February 2, 2011

23/4/1967:

Got up late and after finishing bath and breakfast went to work in garden.  Baba and myself dug a pit.  While working he was talking with Saxena on some story of ‘purana’ (scripture) in which I was least interested.  After sometime we sat under the tree for talk. He then said, “I shall give you again and again something to analyse.  Take down now.”

9 A.M.   “Apparently innocent things are not always so innocent as they seem to be; in many cases they are but miasma for the unconscious.  Today I was telling Ramesh about sudden torpor the Lord Shankar was forced to undergo when the Divine Mother on the eve of ‘Daksha Yadnya’ suddenly started revealing Herself in the different manifestations of ‘Dasha Mahavidya’.  The sudden release of the Mother’s forces was so stupendously powerful that even the Lord Shankar could not bear its first impact.  On hearing this Ramesh observed, “I have not read this story anywhere.  Now analyse the whole thing in proper perspective.”

Baba went in and we were busy in writing answers.  Saxena was dumb struck and asked me as to what I wrote.  I did not reveal.  Baba came out and I readout the following:

“Firstly it can be sincere but figurative expression that he for the first time knew this fact.  So to commend this addition to his knowledge he might have expressed so.”

“Secondly he wanted to show that he read lot of mythological and spiritual scriptures and yet he failed to know this story and hence this expression.  So a sort of ego was manifest in his utterance.”

“Thirdly in his subconscious he disbelieved the story narrated by you and hence the expression came out from conscious.”

Baba then asked Ramesh to read out.  He did not write anything and was crestfallen and speechless.  Baba then soothingly made it clear to him that it was unmannerly and that he should not have spoken so before elders.  The discussion went ahead but under the pretext of helping in the kitchen I sneaked out with his permission.  While leaving I was simply aghast to experience his Cambridge English, spontaneous impromptu smooth flow of language and his fantastic command over most appropriate and bombastic vocabulary.

I prepared a spicy Maharashtrian cuisine called ‘pithle’ from gram-flour.  All had a maiden test of this spicy recipe.  Everyone liked it.  Took rest at noon and then watered garden.  He did not come out in the evening. I dined and retired after gossip.

24/4/1967:

Monday. From 3.30 P.M. to 7 P.M. is Lunar eclipse with ‘Chudamani Yog’ which comes once in eighteen years according to almanac.

After bath watered plants.  Promenaded near our kitchen.  Did not go to Baba’s side.  He came out at 4 P.M. and talked a while and went in.  Again at 5 P.M. he came out.  Shomu informed me that Baba was in upset mood. Since morning he was searching a reason to get off according to Shomu.  When Shomu helped Baba to sow seeds of chilly and pumpkin Baba was grumbling.

At 5 P.M. all of us were collected near him.  Yesterday letter from Rajat’s wife came and it was read out to him.  She demanded money.  She wrote that in nine years she never asked for it but as she was now living with her father who was a very poor man she needed it.  Baba was angry.  He directed to send rupees two hundred to her.  Lala was ordered to call Mitranand, Dashmana Parashar and Shrikrishna Chamoli.  In the meantime Gobind arrived from Okhimath with dak.  There was a letter from Ramprasad Merhotra of Kanpur.  He mentioned that Radhakant talked with him on phone and told about publication of book.

Baba indignantly said, “How many times I told this idiot not to bluff and lie.  I cannot work along with these people.  Everything finished.  Everything will have to be changed.  Hell with Chudamani yog.”  Wrath and pure wrath was dancing. By then Mitranand and others joined.  They told their inability to give money.  He decided that Gobind, Ramesh, and I would leave for home.  He enquired about cash balance. Saxena wrote a letter in Hindi to Radhakant as dictated by Baba.  He was waiting for an excuse to tell us the postponement of work.  First he fixed 26th January 1967 to shoot out.  Then the proposals of D Day and alternate upsetment followed in February as first day of the lunar year, 10th April, Full Moon 24th April, 12th May Akshay Tritiya, and now 24th May Buddha Paurnima. I feel he is waiting for the result of the Presidential election of India on 7th May or might postpone indefinitely or remain submerged in recluse forever.

Then there was a letter from Gyandada that when nobody was there, a reporter of the Statesman took photographs in the Shaulmari Ashram.  He was spreading canard against Shaulmari Ashram. Baba’s ire knew no bounds. He was simply furious. He dictated the following note to me:

“A criminal case of surreptitious trespass into the premises of the Shaulmari Ashram and taking of unauthorized photos of a portion of the Ashram and its illegal publication in their paper will have to be instituted against the editor and publisher of the Statesman, Calcutta, and its correspondent concerned.  As soon as the necessary arrangement of money is made the case will have to be instituted at Mathabhanga or Calcutta.  In the meantime let Gyan make necessary draft for the prosecution with Anu”. (Anilkumar Ganguly of Alipurduar, Advocate)

Baba then dictated the following in reference to Radhakant’s drawback of inner nature as to why and how does a man fail to be cautious at the time when the defect, pulsating within gets its outer expression and why does he not become worried enough to fight it out from developing into its ramifications?

Baba then told me to write an answer to the above question.  He talked for a while and then sent Lala and Ramesh to village Chunni to enquire whether there was any buyer for our cow. It was his usual method of raising fast bucks.  They returned late with negative reply.

Baba took me alone inside and gave the following note:

7.30 P.M. “Just analyse the following and on the basis of that analysis try to find out what in the core brings about a conflict within?”

“It is evident that your mother is feeling very deeply for you.  It is also evident that on your part you are feeling intensely for her but the other day what really was the motivating force to make you suddenly think in terms of reaching Amravati before 25th May in contrast to what you decided already. The main point to find out is whether that was only for the consideration of mother or out of some other serious consideration or simply out of an impulse of some suddenness.  If so what it is?  If not how it comes about?”

In his presence immediately I wrote answer and read out as follows:

“I promised my mother to reach home with Prabhakar definitely.  When I asked your permission you told me to stay upto 25th.  I therefore did not insist to go along with Prabhakar and in a separate letter I assured mother that I would reach around 25th April.  Then the other day I advocated for Gobind’s permission to go home just to see your mood.  You got off and hence I dared not ask about myself.  But again day before yesterday when I saw Ramesh received permission to go home I thought it to be the most appropriate moment to seek permission.

When I came out Shomu and Lala felt very sorry about my departure.  Shri Dada expressed worry about money matter.  Considering the situation I dropped a letter to mother promising to reach by 10th May.  It was in my mind to go to Amravati from Delhi instead of accompanying Baba in chartered flight provided all money arrangement was done.”

The following note by Baba was suffixed to my explanation after a hearty laugh.

“Mental worry persisting in one form or other, in this particular case, worry about not doing in accordance with what you have already written to your mother, the mind will not be in a position to remain at peace and if you are not in peace with yourself the consequent repercussions in the main body of the work will always be there.  It is for this reason it is wise to do away with this worry by going to Amravati. It has been unwise on your part to try to understand in what mood I was through Gobind.”

I had discussion on the above and I confessed that my worry of going home was much less than the worry of being a reason to upset the work here by going and hence I chose the better one, etc.  Then Baba told me to send in Ramanidada and others.  I took meals and joined the bandwagon.  As usual he gave note to Ramanidada stating that to start work was impossible. He tried his best but we foiled it and last straw on the camel’s back was exhausted, etc. etc. We then were allowed to go and I rested for the night at 11 P.M.

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