My Rebuke

Posted By Author on March 11, 2011

28/4/1967:

In very early morning I was awakened and told to attend to Baba with changed clothes.  My yesterday night’s argument was itching him and at night he pondered over and gave a long note on it as below.  I felt the note was nothing less than making a mountain of a molehill.  It was a masterpiece mental gymnastic and way of covering one’s error under the garb of learned analysis.  I had to maintain silence and keep mum because I knew specialty of his nature that no one should argue but submit to him completely.

7 A.M.

“Note down the details of why you got the rebuke last night.”

“I was telling you that in order to have real joy in whatever work you are entrusted with, you have to feel from within that even if you do not understand just how it works, the performance of the work is really to your own benefit.

Now without coming to understand what it really means you impulsively observed, ‘we have not come here for any profit.’

Leaving aside for the time being the real connotation of this foreign word profit, you in your own way meant one of the two things.  Either it is material profit for self or it is above material profit for self.  When you uttered this you got the rebuke and on being rebuked you again observed,’ by profit I mean not material profit’.  At this juncture according to you, you must have meant above material profit.  Now if you have not come here for above material profit i.e. the profit involved in the development of your brain and the heart then it clearly shows you have come here according to you for rendering as best real service to humanity at large or to your countrymen by getting both material and ideological means from here which you yourself cannot summon.  It means then you have come here emotionally and intellectually fully equipped for the tremendous purpose.

Now what are the elements involved in it.

(1)           Really whatever may be the potential capability of becoming kinetic, as you kinetically stand now; you have not even one percent emotional and intellectual equipment for rendering real service to mankind.  These you have to acquire in the course of long, stable and tenacious fight with yourself.

(2)           Then the just mentioned presumption is the outcome of ego perverted with blindness and yourself.

(3)           When I say it is to your benefit and instantaneously you observe that you have not come here for any profit, it clearly amounts to pointing out my mistake and wrong stand.  Of course, everybody has the right to think that in some matter I may commit a mistake. Then it means what? (a) A sort of unwitting impudence coming from the unconscious is in the operation in the conscious and as such it is utterly unmannerly. (b) It is also an extreme folly in as much as without being pensive even for a second you make the impulsive observation.

Now you see the things that apparently seem to be innocent are not so innocent, nay, even vicious at the core.

The rebuke was again the outcome of your inability of taking in the implication of your defective observation even after the defect was pointed out at least thrice before. This sort of carelessness and lack of seriousness about discussion is a very grave defect to character.  On the one hand it involves great wastage of time and energy on both sides, on the other this trend makes you progressively callous about the seriousness of discussion.

It is tendency of ignorant human nature to logically shift ground when faced with some foolish utterances.  When you got rebuke for uttering this expression you at once shifted ground by saying you had not come here for any material profit.  This sort of shifting ground in a discussion is flagrantly immoral, as without your being conscious about it.  It is the outcome of general hypocrisy powerfully working in the conscious.  Again it is also an expression of cowardice.”

Baba then told me to read the above carefully and think over it. After lunch he would call me.  I was called at 11 noon and when asked I confessed that his psychoanalysis was absolutely appealing and correct.  Itching for both of us stopped.

Baba loves to perform psychoanalysis.

I went for lunch and it rained cats and dogs and dripped through frail roof that I had to partake food under umbrella.

A young boy named Sudhir Chandola came.  His uncle was in service at Okhimath and he lived in plains.  He was studying for B.A. and told that he was engaged with a Bengali girl on whose wish he came to see Baba.  I politely showed him the way out.

In the evening worked in the garden and planted beds of flower plants in front of our hut.  Watered them.  Worked in kitchen, had dinner and after prayer retired.

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