Pressure & Anger

Posted By Author on November 19, 2010


I got up early and finishing the routine got ready in woolen suit and awaited Baba’s arrival in front of Ramanidada’s hut.  Ramanidada too joined me.  I was to accompany Baba wherever he would go including police station.  Exactly at 9.30 A.M. Baba came out. He was clad in white round dhoti and half sleeved white bush shirt made of mercerized ‘mulmul’ (soft muslin) with a black sweater on it that I brought. Walking stick was in hand.  He did not stop where we were standing and went ahead.  I invoked him by uttering ‘Baba’.  He halted.  I appealed to him not to leave, as Salil was due from Calcutta today with stay order probably.  He said it was of no use and he had no time left.  Then he was indignant over Ramanidada as to why Vishwanath servant was not kept ready.  Reluctantly I got him and Baba told him to go ahead and wait midway on the hill.  Each and every one of us assembled in great suspense to see him off.  He was about to descend in the dry bed of river when Radhakant laid himself horizontal in his path and began to weep loudly, streaks of tears trickling down his cheeks. Baba lifted him and in a very mild and affectionate voice said to him that he was not angry with him and he be allowed to go.  Radhakant would not listen and all of us surrounded him.

The scene was very pathetic.  We were urging him not to leave.  Standing there, he began to talk and then told to get his chair.  We felt relieved.  The servant Vishwanath was called back. Even in that grim mood Baba laughed and addressed to me laughingly, “See Suresh, how is humanity?  This Nkruma was President of Ghana and he put sixty crore rupees in his name in a foreign bank.  How mean it is.  This, your Prime Minister Indira Gandhi is sending her personal ration of half-kilo rice to Kerala and getting it photographed for publicity in newspapers.  How shameless it is!  As long as there is no real feeling these people cannot do any substantial and real work.  A genuine worker never bothers about name, fame and publicity.  I shall relate you a story of a king of Kashi.  His wife the queen went out with her girl friends for a picnic. She wanted fire for warmth and as  fun told to lit the neighbouring village. The affected subjects lodged a complaint to the king.  The king enquired with the queen and she told him that he was spending thousands of rupees daily on her and so what was the price of that petty village before that. The king got enraged and put beggar’s attire on her and warned her to do begging for one year, collect money, reconstruct the village and then alone she would be accepted in the palace.  Then and then alone she would realize the value of poor people’s houses.”

Baba then recited a poem on this episode composed by Rabindranath Tagore.  We were squatting around him and Baba was smilingly telling stories.  Everybody was in rapt attention. I wondered as to how could he dissolve his volcanic anger in a minute.  Was it a drama or was it his unique method of relinquishing mounting mental agony?  Shomu intervened and asked Baba permission to cook his lunch.  Baba told him that all would take food in his kitchen.  I informed him that Budhiballabh and Shomu brought two kilo old rice from Okhimath just then and that it should be preserved for him and not squandered on us.  He agreed and then took us with him in front of his hut.  He sat on the chair and we surrounded him again.  He made me sit near him and told Radhakant, Rajat and Gobind to change clothes and start assisting ladies in cooking.

I was all the while contemplating about his two opposite extremities of his nature like Stevenson’s Dr Jekyll and Mr.Hyde.

Baba then handed me the daily newspaper The Indian Express dated 18th January 1967 and told me to read a particular news item.  It contained news about Gope Gurbax.  He was chief administrator of Shaulmari Ashram in 1962.  He was contesting against Indira Gandhi for Parliamentary election so that Netaji would come.  He met Baba in 1962 and that because of fear of murder he escaped to the Himalayas at that time.  Baba laughed and asked whether he wanted to gain trust of the people or to prove that he was not a spy by contesting against Indira Gandhi.  A stark idiot was his concluding remark. On the next page he observed C.D.Deshmukh’s photograph and told me to read out the item.  It was a gist of an interview taken by a reporter.  In that C.D. gave his opinion on different political topics of the day.  Baba agreed with most of them.  He twice went in to spice dal and vegetables in simmering oil.  His culinary skills were enchanting. (Similar was the case of Netaji and Vivekananda.) After interlude we would continue the sessions.  He did not agree with C.D.Deshmukh on educational unrest and gave the following dictation:

“What is the genesis of etiology of the students’ unrest, their maldevelopment and of the teachers too?

Unless this is clearly found out, formulated and elucidated and with that finding, education and formulation, the problems are not tackled dexterously with each particular problem being placed and handled in its right place and to its right context, it would be a sheer fantastic wishful thinking to improve the lot of the students and teachers at large.  Suppose the best possible academic means are discovered and applied to make students and teachers equally interested in academic matters.  Suppose whenever there is an upsurge of students’ indiscipline, it is dealt with both by the authorities and the Government concerned with firmness.  Will this alone and can this alone touch even the fringe of the problem not to speak of the core?  If the human responsibility including the grossest and the highest is not thoroughly analysed and elements of the being are not reconstituted, the prospect of developing a healthy character are purely bleak.  Man is not a mere cognitional being.  He is an affectionate creature too.  You may apply thousands of healthy and correct means for developing his cognitional side but if the ‘affectional’ side is not with the same circumspection and intensity taken care of, the growth is bound to be lopsided and there will be no escape from mental imbalance.  Not a casual attempt, a bit here and a bit there, will serve little purpose.  It seems the children have been given long rope to get them-selves developed or maldeveloped under the continuous kicks of nature. The most salient aspect of their growth has been, being always ignored.  By simply wishing that students should develop a wealthy and integrated character, this thing will not just drop from the sky.  Has any system of education ever and for that any educational psychologist ever thought of seriously about how the really integrated growth can be effective?  Whatever they are trying is always floating in the surface in a vain and futile attempt to bring about a healthy and strong change.  Alas!  Those who come out of their youth with a really integrated development are only their own makings, not the makings of the academic institutions.  They are what they are in spite of the institutions they have studied in.  A Gandhi, a Vivekananda, a Ramatirtha, a Plato, and a Lincoln they are not at all products of any educational institution.  They are products of themselves.  Now, the question is, is it not possible to apply those self-making means to the problems of general development?  I have the conviction it is possible.  There may be a variation of degrees but with reference to each stage of development, the very means can be applied with more or less success.  Occasional failure will always be there.  Its possibility in any field can never be precluded.”

Then in the same item the reporter asked C.D. whether the country would get proper leader, after trying to avoid, he took name of Y.B.Chavan.  On this Baba blurted, “Here he committed mistake.  He should not have named anyone.  According to Baba the bragging of C.D. that everything was neat and trim during the regime of his ministry was an egoistic expression.”

Dusk ousted dawn. Long shadows of the mountain enveloped our island. a Our lunch cum dinner was almost ready. Chamoli and Mitranand were also invited.  Fire was lit.  We sat around it.  Baba was there on the chair to see personal needs and care.  He would force extra helpings.  Mitranand said he could not take rice in the evening and Baba ordered to prepare parathas for him immediately.  Radhakant and Shomu did it.  It was preposterous on the part of Mitranand to make Radhakant and Shomu leave their food half way.  The food was extremely heavy and spicy. After overloading belly we returned to our hut.  Radhakant and Rajat were called by Baba whereas I slept.  This morning Budhiballabhji went to Shrinagar to fetch mosquito net and old Hansraj rice.  I lent my holdall to him and hence I had to stretch on straw bed.

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