Warrant pressure, Dandge arrives

Posted By Author on November 17, 2010


At 10.30 A.M. Baba called me and gave the following dictation, which was the result of my pleading for Radhakant’s delay in arrival.

“You all must understand my normal way to speaking and giving direction. When you go to a certain place and in my view it is a necessity for you to come back on a certain date then before your departure you will be told something like this: reach here on or before such and such date, and this expression is definite and categorical.  Sometimes, of course, more definitive words or expression will be used but generally it will not be. If delay does not matter much, I myself of my own accord give an elastic expression.  If it is not there then even an apparently mild expression must be regarded as definite one when the categorical direction is given first and unwavering consideration must be given to it.  Now here the mind may play a mischief under the cover of remaining attentive to the time factor you may become clumsy in doing the work entrusted to you and with this mentality if you remain accurate about the time dimension your observance will be equally bad and be sure generally speaking if this mental mischief takes place, it will not get a free escape from the eyes that are observing.”

Baba then said, “Suresh, I did not tell these people till today.  Let me tell you frankly.  I have to convince myself first that you have become absolutely trustworthy.  In the minutest detail you have to become absolutely trustworthy first.  Then alone I can start work through you.  Then and then alone I shall pull down the Light for you otherwise it will be misused.”  After more chitchat he went for lunch and did we.  Took rest and completed diary in the noon.

At 3 P.M. Baba called us again.  He was walking up and down like a tiger in a cage.  We were all ushered in his hut.  The salvo of anger, pure anger, and nothing but anger bombarded.  I was perplexed to know its cause.  The old record of our past mistakes was played in shrill voice.  His suppressed emotions and worries were blown off under this pretext.  The arrival of arrest warrant and his inability to reveal his identity and storm the nation for the reason best known to me was the basic cause of this typhoon.  Blood rushed to his countenance repeating that he was unable to start work, etc., Wrath poured as usual.  He gave note in Bengali that work would not start and everybody was free to look after own self.  I was fed up.  I told him already that spray pump was repaired and under the pretext of killing flies I sneaked out.  I returned and started yawning when others were grim, stunned and worried.  When they were serious I was playing with Chinu because I was immune to his tantrums.  On that day I took half a dozen snaps of Chinu on Ramanidada’s request as she completed three months. With a brief foray to my hut where disgusting Ramsingh Pradhan was fast asleep on my bed in inebriated condition I returned to Baba’s hut.  At 4.15 P.M. Gobind and Shomu sneaked out for work.  I remained alone with Baba.  His temper ameliorated.  He dictated following questions:

“Why does not man speak straight?  Why is he always, sometimes consciously and sometimes impulsively, out to take recourse to falsehood?  Why does not a man respond to the call of responsibility?  Write down your own answer.”

In half minute I wrote the answer and put down the pen.  Both Baba and Ramanidada were surprised.  Baba confirmed whether my answer was over and I gave a positive signal.  He ordered to read it out.  I disclosed, “My only answer is that it is ‘Kaliyug’ and God wanted man to behave this way in Kaliyug.’ Baba and Dada gave such a hearty laugh that tears trickled from Baba’s eyes.  After regaining composure Baba said, “Suresh, this sort of dodging won’t do.  The answer must be analytical and illustrative.”  I then wrote and announced the following:

“Man is product of the company he keeps right from childhood.  The life-long ‘sanskar’ (impact) gets its roots so deep that although somebody wishes that certain man should behave in certain expected way, the inherent traditional ‘sanskar’, good or bad, cannot be subverted and hence in spite of all efforts to remould, remodel, and reform grownup rigid man, the old ‘sanskar’ is bound to lurk its hideous head to play mischief.  It is good ‘sanskar’ imbibed right from childhood will alone give expected result. Hence proper training from formative period is an indispensability.”

Baba admitted, “What you say, Suresh, is absolutely true but this is one phase of the problem.  There is another phase.  Write down:

“If sincere persisting attempt is present, their failure does not mean much.  Such failures are really the pillars of future success.  The real difficulty arises, in spite of becoming vociferous about the sincerity of attempt; man is not really sincere about his attempt to kick off these debasing elements.  Man does not speak straight because he has always something to hide and as a result of this continuous habit of hiding and indulging in hypocrisy man becomes so morbid about it that he indulges in hiding and lying even without any apparent purpose.  Here the disease is at its height. There is a genuine difficulty in overcoming impulsive hiding and falsehood but if a man deliberately, with plan and design indulges in hiding and falsehood, his very sincerity of purpose will be rightly put to question.  The criterion which may show whether a man is sincere or not is that in spite of his failure of intellect in no matter he will take to the distorted road of hiding and masquerading and in spite of one’s living in a fool’s paradise that his tendency of hiding will not be interpreted as such and he will be duping all.  He may be clear about it that the real truth of his nature will speak out itself and the more he is obstinate about falsehood and hypocrisy the more mercilessly he will be first exposed to himself and if it fails, to his fellow men.”

I went out to see whether bus had come and returned.  Baba was alone rocking Chinu very affectionately in his lap.  He was signing a lullaby in Bengali. It was something like, ‘ Borgi aleshe Deshi …’ He explained tits meaning that Maratha marauders have come, birds have eaten crop, how to give ransom, sleep baby sleep.’ It was a wonderful sight of his paternal affection, the unsatiated desire being fulfilled though late.  In a loving voice he told me to sit near him and asked whether I read Light of Asia by Edwin Arnold.  He explained that it was on the life of Buddha in poetic form and dictated a verse from it:

“Low as wind is, so is mortal life

A man, a sigh, a sob, a storm, a strife”

Baba then gave a verse of Ella Whillar Wincox, one of the greatest poets of America.

“There is room in the halls of pleasure

For a long and Lordly train

But one by one we must all file on

Through the narrow aisles of pain”

It was 5.30 P.M. The bus came.  I came out and sent men up hill for assistance.  Rajat informed that three persons arrived viz.  Penoli, Radhakant and Chandrashekhar Dandge.  I was surprised because Dandge was due next day as per telegram.

Dandge related that parents were all right.  Relieved.  My Father told him to be Gorakhnath and get back Machindranath meaning myself. Machindranath was stuck up in kingdom of women and Gorakhnath, his disciple, brought him out.  Mother has selected a girl for me to see.  He told that suspense was mounting in the city regarding my activity.  His father luckily gave permission and immediately he left.  My brother was a bit irritated regarding Shah Nawaz case due to our message to take an airplane on intimation.  He remarked that he would not be carried away by allurement of planes etc.

I took Dandge aside to the river and he wanted to take bath in that cold weather.  He slipped and fell in the river.  I shouted.  Luckily he was in the lee of twelve feet high boulder otherwise even his body would have been untraceable.  A cascade was just ahead and current was furious.  Until he got down on the road Penoli and Radhakant did not know about him though they knew him by name.

Radhakant was called in by Baba.  After a while I had to join him.  Baba was upset, as Radhakant did not bring Hansaraj old rice.  No mosquito net, no muffler.  He was mainly indignant because of not bringing his rice.  New rice caused purging to him.  He declared that he would not take food anymore.  If he took wheat-chapatis both times his body would get heated and then he was unable to do work.  Everything was finished and no work would take place.  He named all as reckless, callus and idiots of the first water.  Radhakant said he would go afoot immediately to Rudraprayag and get rice before dawn.  Baba said it was too late and was of no use.  Baba then took me alone in his hut and gave the following dictation:

8 P.M.     “What is generally taken as will and as aspiration is merely a sentimental effusion in the surface and the root of failure lies there.  Humanity in its stark ignorance cannot take anything to its heart and to that extent man is helpless but the tragedy becomes more acute when all goading notwithstanding, he is not ready to come up to the mark.  In spite of all the queer experiences I am unfortunate to gather in my blood-boiling experiments with the present day humanity. I had the expectation that from upper belt of the lowest status at least a certain percentage will be available to be circumspective enough to understand what integral development really means and note much more than ninety nine percentage of the humanity including the most educated belong to the lowest strata.  Most of those who are genuinely guiding destiny of the nations, who have taken upon themselves the task of leading the best universities, who have ability to acquire immense amount of fortune belong to the same lowest stage and alas! my too optimistic expectation has repeatedly rebounded upon myself, now leaving me only void through which I see nothing.  Even an animal is expected to learn by conditioning the reflexes but man will not learn even by the trial and error method.  One may keep his patience once, twice, thrice, even hundreds of times but when it exceeds maximum thinkable limits, there is nothing left but to embrace despair. This is where now I stand.  The future road is clear before my eyes.  Putting new wine in old bottle would not do.”

To me all his anger was not because of failure to purchase old rice but due to mounting weight of arrest warrant.  To start work new workers would have to be found out said he.  After venting lot of anger he told rest to go and gave audience to my friend Chandrashekhar Dandge.

We returned for food and at that time message came that Baba called Rajat, Radhakant and myself.  Radhakant refused to come saying that his body was aching. Rajat and I attended.  Baba got upset and sent Rajat to call Radhakant.  He again refused. Then his anger mounted and he told Rajat to kick him and get him otherwise tell him to quit the place immediately.  Ultimately he came.  He got his extra share of admonishment. Then Baba dejectedly said, “No work can be done.  On full Moon day, i.e., 26th Jan. 67, I wanted to do eight years work in one day.  However, now preliminary work is not possible.  Everything is lost.”  He then gave the following dictation to me:

9.45 P.M. “Due to physical inability which is becoming more and more acute day after day resulting from the hundreds of times repeated break of work this physical body will not permit to undo the Himalayan mischief done in the last eight years.  There is another way of undoing it and now I am adopting that way.  There is no other alternative.  Sooner or later, rather later than sooner, someone will take up the reign of the work where it is left.  At this juncture provisional curtain is on the verge of falling.  I am happy that at least when the physical body has been made immobilized I shall be free of carrying the burden in my vital and mind.  There is no way out but for you all waiting for the opportune time.” (Netaji remained underground as Mazzotta for one year in Germany and said he was waiting for opportune time to come out.)  Ramanidada arrived.  He was suffering from cough and cold and exposure to cold weather enhanced his trouble.  After emitting still more anger to his satisfaction he told to keep our servant Vishwanath ready by 9.30 A.M. next morning.  If the police did not listen, he himself would go to the police station tomorrow regarding arrest warrant affair.

All of us came out but Rajat was detained.  He joined us later on and told me that Baba dictated a letter in Bengali To Gyandada.  After reading it all people in the Ashram would feel very bad about it said he.

Baba came near our hut at 11.30 P.M. and gave a clap.  Took Rajat and me to his hut.  Ramanidada too came.  Again he blasted anger and it was evident that Radhakant’s behaviour added fuel to fire.  He dictated a Hindi note to me and told me to read out to him and handover a blanket and a shawl to him for his use.  Radhakant purchased it for Baba for about seventy-five rupees.

We came back and I read out the following note to Radhakantji dictated by Baba in Hindi and translated as below:

“ Tell Radhakant I had to send for him three times. He cannot live here under any circumstances. Whatever he wants to do, he has to leave this place in next morning. He can carry the hundred or hundred and twenty-five rupees he has.“

When blanket and shawl were handed over to him. Radhakant was very dejected and said if he wanted to take it for himself he would not have brought it for Baba.  Told to keep it aside in a corner.  In the morning he would leave the camp, assured he.

In torchlight I completed diary.  I was convinced beyond a shadow of doubt that dictation, anger, fasts and long walks to jungle were the only means Baba adopted to release suppressed and compressed steam of his desire, wishes and career to become political and spiritual Guru and that the suppression was due to his being cudgeled down into a cage of anonymity and recluse by his own self-imposed destiny.  Ordinary people amongst whom he treaded his life were no match to his super intelligence.  I discerned a duel personality in him angry and indignant Baba, affectionate and caring Baba, very optimistic Baba and pessimistic Baba too.

Comment: Baba’s nature tallies exactly with Netaji’s nature. Netaji nurtured love and hate relationship with Nehru. Netaji adored Nehru as ‘bade bhaiyya’ (elder brother.) He wrote to Ashok, his nephew,   “ Nobody has done more harm to me personally and to our cause in this crisis than Pandit Nehru.” Baba said Jawahar had greatest greatness and meanest meanness. Meditation, love for mountains, worshiping Vivekananda, Ramkrishna, Aurobindo, Gandhi, Christ, Buddha is common to both Baba as well as Netaji. Quoting Shankar, Kant, Bergson, and Hegel common to both. Deep study of history, politics, Sanskrit and knowing German language is similar. After Tripuri victory and aftermath of his resignation he expressed his desire to renounce politics and go to the Himalaya. Baba shunned politics and lived in the Himalayas for many years. Netaji’s immune system became weak. Netaji in his strange illness received treatment from Sir Nilratan Sircar, Physician to Calcutta Medical College. When in Ashram Baba was seriously ill, Dr.Nilratan Sircar was flown to Ashram. Both stressed on training and planning. Visit to different places of historic importance and religious places common in both. Netaji expressed ‘ life in open and plenty of walk was good for the health.’ Baba too preferred life in open and long walks. Habit of writing with pencil and hobby of gardening, reading books, reciting poetry and reading newspaper regularly was same to both. Age and physical features were same. Like Subhash because of weak immune system Baba avoided contamination. Nursing others and dictatorial nature is similar. Superb English language and use of phrases like grind own axe, of course, life is not a straight line, day in and day out, synthesis, blunder, will not do and many more points are common to both. Most important feature is of floating loan bonds is same. It is left to scholars to work it out.

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